Category: Bob Dylan

Bob Dylan On the Devil

Well, once again I decided to listen to one of Bob Dylan’s Theme Time Radio Hour shows. This time his topic was the devil.

The show begins with stirring music that sounds like an enormous storm is moving in, and then Bob says, “This is Theme Time Radio Hour and there’s hell to pay.” He then launches into a reading of a little section of John Milton’s, Paradise Lost.

“Him, the almighty power,
Hurled headlong, flaming through the etherial sky,
With hideous ruin and combustible, down.
To bottomless perdition, there to dwell
In adamantine chains and penal fire,
Who durst defy the Omnipotent to arms.”

Soon after this, Bob introduces his first song:

“We’re going to start things off with Robert Johnson, a man who they say knew a little bit about the Prince of Darkness. According to legend, Robert Johnson made a deal with the devil at the crossroad of highway 61 and Highway 41 in Clarksdale, Mississippi. He traded his soul. That’s what they say. This is his song, ‘Me and The Devil Blues.'”

Playing a twangy guitar, Johnson begins, “Early this morning, me and the devil been walking side by side.” The song goes on from here to tell us about a guy thinking of beating his wife for not doin’ him right. Meanwhile, she can’t believe he’d do something like that, so she ends up blaming “that old evil spirit, so deep down in the ground.”

After the Robert Johnson song, Bob plays us “Satan is Real” by the Louvin Brothers. The singer seeks to convince us of the existence of the evil one with the following story:

“I know that Satan is real, for once I had a happy home;
I was loved and respected by my family, I was looked upon as a leader in my community,
And then, Satan came into my life.
I grew selfish and un-neighborly; my friends turned against me,
And finally, my home was broken apart; my children took their paths into a world of sin.”

I know that some might think this man would be better off taking responsibility for the life path he took, but he prefers to blame it all on Satan. I wonder if his approach helps him to gain respect for himself and from others.

A little later in the show, we hear the Grateful Dead’s “Friend of the Devil,” Elvis Presley’s “Devil in Disguise,” and Bob Wills and His Texas Playboys’ “The Devil Ain’t Lazy.” Then Bob tells us:

“It says in first Peter, Chapter 5, verse 8, ‘Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary is a roaring lion that walketh about seeking whom he may devour.’ Or, as they also say, ‘Idle hands are the devil’s playground.'”

Among the acts that get blamed on the devil in the next few songs Bob plays on his show are, telling dirty lies, vanity, leaving a lover after making a commitment, not heeding the drunkard’s call, loving you when I should hate you, and strutting with a blue dress, high heel shoes, and an alligator purse.

At one point, Bob provides us a couple of relevant quotes by a couple of famous people:

“Oscar Wilde once said, ‘We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ Otis Span said, ‘the devil could be anything from soups to nuts.”

The last song played on this show is Tom Waits’s “Way Down in the Hole,” which Bob says is “Low on schmaltz and a real show-stopper, not pullin’ any punches.” Here’s some of its lyrics:

don’t pay heed to temptation
for his hands are so cold
you gotta help me keep the devil
way down in the hole

Bob closes his show with these words:

“Now it’s time to climb out of the hole with the devil and shut the door on another Theme Time Radio Hour. We’re gonna leave you now with the words of George Harrison who said, ‘Gossip is the devil’s radio.’ I don’t know about that, but I hope Theme Time Radio Hour is your radio. We’ll see you next week as sure as hell.”

Conclusion

Well that’s my post for today. Until next time, I hope you spend some time thinking about what it means to have conflicting desires; why we, and others, sometimes act in ways that interfere with values many of us hold dear; and, when we do such acts, is it wiser to take responsibility for our own actions or to blame it on the devil?

My Best,

Jeff

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Some people will enjoy reading this blog by beginning with the first post and then moving forward to the next more recent one; then to the next one; and so on. This permits readers to catch up on some ideas that were presented earlier and to move through all of the ideas in a systematic fashion to develop their emotional intelligence. To begin at the very first post you can click HERE.

Tags Bob Dylan, conflict, The devil, Theme Time Radio Hour

Bob Dylan conflict resolution insults poverty Rich and Poor

Bob Dylan On The Rich and Poor

Post author By Dr. Jeffrey Rubin
Post date September 6, 2015
7 Comments on Bob Dylan On The Rich and Poor

Have you ever noticed that some rich people like to say insulting things about the poor, and some poor people like to say some insulting things about the rich. Well, since this blog is all about insults, as well as respect, let’s see if today we can throw a little sunshine on this.

As followers of this blog know, from time to time, I enjoy selecting one of Bob Dylan’s Theme Time Radio Hour shows to help us with these kinds of endeavors. Today, we’ll be utilizing Bob’s “Rich Man, Poor Man” theme.

Bob’s Introduction

Time for Theme Time Radio Hour. This week we’re going to take a look at two different kinds of people, them that’s got, and them that needs. We’re going to talk about a dichotomy between the rich man and the poor man.

As soon as Bob finishes this sentence, we hear an audio clip from a movie I can’t quite put my finger on, “If you permit me to say so, sir, the subject is not an interesting one. The poor know all about poverty, and only the morbid rich would find the topic glamorous.”

Then, Bob’s voice returns.

Bob Miller

Bob Miller wrote a song about both of them. He knew that poor people had something that no millionaire had–poverty. Here’s a story about a rich man and a poor man. The rich man steals a million from the bank that he controls, and the poor man steals a penny for a loaf of bread or a penny worth of rolls. One goes away laughing, while the other goes away in tears. The rich man gets an apology while the poor man gets ten years. All kinds of life lessons in this song with no crapola.

Then Bob plays Miller’s song, “The Rich Man and the Poor Man.” We get a pretty good sense of some of the resentment that poor folks feel in many societies from the opening lyrics:

There’s just two kinds of people, the sinner and the saint;
There’s one that gets and always got while the other poor one ain’t.
Oh, the rich man drives his Lincoln past the red light with a grin,
And the poor man follows right behind in his little hunk of tin.
There’s a motorcycle copper following upon their trail;
Oh, the rich man tears his ticket, but the poor man goes to jail.

Here we get a pretty vivid sense of the resentment that can boil up within the hearts of many poor folks when they see incidents of being treated unfairly. This can lead some to start throwing around a few insults.

Bob’s Show Continues

After Bob’s introduction to his theme and his first song, he goes on to say:

That was Bob Miller, “The Rich Man and the Poor Man.” I’ve known both and there’s good in each.

Soon afterwards, Bob tells us about some people who have gone from rags to riches.

Some of the songs he subsequently plays are about the dreams some poor people have about becoming rich, including “Get Rich Quick” by Little Richard. Apparently, one day this guy he’s singing about dreams of going to the track with twenty dollars and coming home with twenty-thousand. And, of course, in his imagination, when this happens “every thing will be OK.” I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I’ve read a few biographies and have come away thinking that for people who have gone from rags to riches, pure happiness doesn’t always come by quite so easily. Still, the rocking saxophones on that song makes it well worth a listen.

Next up, Bob plays “Charming Betsy” by the Farmer’s Boys.

Rich girl got married in a long white veil

Poor girl would like to have a train

My girl never said I do

But she does just the same

Here, I get the sense that the song writer, while recognizing that the poor may have the desire to have what rich folks have, if you have the love of your girl, well, in some ways it’s just the same.

Soon after the Farmer’s Boys song, Bob plays us another audio clip from a movie:

You see sir, rich people think of poverty as in the negative, as the lack of riches, as a disease might be called a lack of health. But it isn’t sir. Poverty isn’t the lack of anything, but a positive plague, virulent in itself, and contagious as cholera, with filth, criminology, vice and despair as only a few of its symptoms.

Instead of Looking Down Their Noses At the Poor, The Rich Would be Wise to Remember How Easily They Too Can Become Poor

Although some of the rich may look down at the poor, Bob wisely reminds all of us that with a little twist of society’s fortunes, the rich can turn rapidly into the poor. Thus, he says:

On October 24th, 1929 the stock market fell. On Black Friday, many rich men turned into poor men. Suddenly many of them were on the street corners selling apples. Whether it was Black Friday or today, there are too many people out there who need to ask, Brother, can you spare a dime? Here’s Bing Crosby on Theme Time Radio Hour.

Here are some of the words from Crosby’s touching song:

Bing Crosby

They used to tell me I was building a dream
With peace and glory ahead
Why should I be standing in line
Just waiting for bread?

Once I built a railroad, I made it run
Made it race against time
Once I built a railroad, now it’s done
Brother, can you spare a dime?

Once I built a tower up to the sun
Brick and rivet and lime
Once I built a tower, now it’s done
Brother, can you spare a dime?

Say, don’t you remember? They called me ‘Al’
It was ‘Al’ all the time
Why don’t you remember? I’m your pal
Say buddy, can you spare a dime?

Shortly after the song, Bob provides us a quote from Confucius: “In a country well governed, poverty is something to be ashamed of; in a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of.” Hmmm, I think this is Bob’s way of reminding people that sometimes the wealthy have some responsibility for working toward a well governed country that gives everyone a fair chance.

When the Wealthy Hold Down the Poor

When the show continues, we get to an uncomfortable situation, which Louis Armstrong emotionally captures in a song titled, “Hobo, You Can’t Ride the Train.” It tells about how the rich has put this middle class railroad brakeman in charge of making sure the hobos don’t sneak on the train. Let’s look at some of its words, sung in Armstrong’s familiar raspy voice:

Oh Hobo, hobo you know you can’t ride this train

Now hobo now listen here hobo

I told you you can’t ride this train

You done forgot I’m the brakesman on this train boy, I’m awful tough I’m awful mad

I’m telling you (ha, ha, ha)

You gotta give me something boy oh yeah

Hobo you can’t ride this train

As I said before, hobo hobo

You know you can’t ride this train

Ah hobo hobo you know what big boy I’ll let go

I’ll give you a break, you’re all right

Here we get a sense that the singer knows he’s getting paid to keep the hobo off the train, and he’s trying to be light about it. At one point he thinks, maybe he can get something out of the hobo, by saying, “You gotta give me something boy oh yeah.” But in the end, the singer decides to give the hobo a break.

In case we are too quick to think that hobos were just a bunch of rotten, no good folks who deserved to be poor, Bob tells us about a number of people who many of us have come to admire who had been hobos at various points in their lives–heavy weight champion Jack Dempsey, actor Clark Gable, singer Woody Guthrie, and writer Eugene O’Neill.

The next song Bob plays, Woody Guthrie’s “Do Re Mi,” is very sad. It tells the tale of folks during the great depression trying to get to California to find a way to escape desperate poverty.

Woody Guthrie

Lots of folks back East, they say, is leavin’ home every day,
Beatin’ the hot old dusty way to the California line.
‘Cross the desert sands they roll, gettin’ out of that old dust bowl,
They think they’re goin’ to a sugar bowl, but here’s what they find
Now, the police at the port of entry say,
“You’re number fourteen thousand for today.”

Oh, if you ain’t got the do re mi, folks, you ain’t got the do re mi,
Why, you better go back to beautiful Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Georgia, Tennessee.
California is a garden of Eden, a paradise to live in or see;
But believe it or not, you won’t find it so hot
If you ain’t got the do re mi.

The Perspective of the Rich

About halfway into the show, Bob say:

We’re talking a lot about poor people; let’s go on the other side of the track. I like talking about the rich men a little better. They’re a little more happy go lucky. You know what’s better than a little money? A lot of money.

Liliane Bettencourt

The richest woman in America in 2005 was Liliane Bettencourt, the daughter of L’Oreal founder. She’s worth around 16 billion. That’s billion, with a “B.” Wow! That’s a lot of bazoma! Another rich woman is Betty Nesmith Graham. She invented liquid paper, and when she passed away, she left her 50 million dollar estate to her son, former Monkey, Mike Nesmith. Gives new meaning to be rich on paper.

Back to the Other Side of the Tracks

Bob only spends a few minutes discussing the rich person’s experience, quickly returning us to songs like Johnny Rivers’s popular “Wrong Side of The Track” and Emmylou Harris’s lovely “Hobo Lullaby.” I would have liked him to try to get more into why so many of the rich look down on the poor, but his sympathy clearly is on those less well off.

As the show begins to close, Bob tells us, “If you are poor, I hope you get rich, and if you are rich, I hope you get happy.” Finally, he says, “I’ll leave you with the words of Benjamin Franklin, ‘He that is of the opinion that money will do anything may be suspected of doing everything for money.’ Thank you Ben. Peace out.”

And so, with those words, Bob ends his show. But before I sign off today, here’s a few parting words of my own.

Throwing insults at anyone, whether at the rich or poor, is not going to help anyone. If you experience a twinge of resentment over these types of issues, I can certainly understand that. But it is whether or not you can transform these twinges into something really positive that will determine whether you end up with just a bunch of awful feelings, or, alternatively, increase the respect you have for yourself.

Here’s one suggestion that has worked for me. When I notice this experience within myself, I find a time to sit for five minutes with my eyes closed. During these five minutes, I experience fully how this resentment is being expressed within my body. Maybe it is felt as a tightness in my chest, a wringing in the pit of my stomach, a clenching of my fist, or a crunching of my muscles around my forehead. I just fully observe these physical sensations for a full five minutes. Then I plant a seed by saying to myself, “I hope that at some point I can come up with a way to transform this experience into something useful and genuinely helpful.”

At one point, what came out of this experience is this idea that although it is certainly kind to give a hungry person a fish, in the long run it is even more kind to find ways to teach a hungry person to fish. With this in mind, I worked for many years in school systems doing my best to remove blocks that were getting in the way of students learning. And more recently, I have created this blog, “From Insults to Respect,” as a curriculum that is free to both the poor and the rich. It is designed to be a tool that can help people to learn some crucial skills for climbing the true ladder of success.

And with that, I hope you visit “From Insults to Respect” again real soon. Until then, as Bob says, “Peace out!”

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Some people will enjoy reading this blog by beginning with the first post and then moving forward to the next more recent one; then to the next one; and so on. This permits readers to catch up on some ideas that were presented earlier and to move through all of the ideas in a systematic fashion to develop their emotional and social intelligence. To begin at the very first post you can click HERE.

Tags Bob Dylan, insults, poverty, Rich and Poor

Bob Dylan conflict resolution Depression Down on your luck meditation

Bob Dylan On Luck And Respect

Post author By Dr. Jeffrey Rubin
Post date August 2, 2015
3 Comments on Bob Dylan On Luck And Respect

You say that you’re down on your luck. Well, most of us have found ourselves down there. I know I have, so, welcome to the club.

It just so happens that how you handle this period of time can lead you to lose your self-respect, and for others to also lose their respect for you; or it can be a great period of time during which you end up dramatically increasing your self-respect, and the respect others have for you.

How do we go about taking the preferable course? Bob Dylan’s Theme Time Radio Show on “Luck” provides some important lessons.

Bob starts the show off with Paul Evans singing, “Happy Go Lucky Me.”

I can laugh
When things aint funny
(A haha) happy go lucky me

Yeah, I can smile
When I aint got no money
(A haha) happy go lucky me

It may sound silly but
Mmm, I don’t care
I got the moonlight
I got the sun
I’ve got the stars above

Me and my filly well, we both share
This slappy go happy, happy go lucky looovve

Well! Life is sweet whooa sweet as honey
(A haha) happy go lucky me

The song tells us about a guy who, even when he’s down on his luck, can appreciate moonlight, the sun and the stars. At the same time, there is a laugh at the end of the song that sounds clearly strained. This is indeed part of the experience, and it is normal to spend some time being with the strained feelings. As we do, some find it helpful to gently remind themselves that there are aspects of life that are “sweet whooa sweet as honey.”

Next up on Bob’s show is B. B. King, king of the blues, singing “Bad Luck Soul.”

I ain’t got nobody and I don’t know what to do
They say things will get better
But I don’t believe it’s true
I thought I had friends, but they all disappeared
Doggone bad luck soul

Everything I do people
Everything I do seems to be wrong
It wouldn’t be so bad if I knew I had a home

With blues like this, there is an acceptance that spending time experiencing sadness, anguish, and tears is part of life and something all human beings have in common. Blues music is popular with many of us precisely because as we listen, we experience a sharing of our personal grief with the blues artist. As down as we may feel, there is some comfort in knowing others go through this as well.

Today, it is popular to just try to snap out of these experiences, perhaps by going to a psychiatrist to get some pills. For me, personally, in addition to listening to some blues music, I meditate twice a day. I find that as I meditate, there are times when I experience waves and waves of bluesy feelings. In meditation, during these times, there is no need to explain, no need to try to talk myself out of this experience. I just experience its fullness, its richness as it enriches my soul.

In the most difficult of these kinds of experiences, it can feel like an awful punch in the gut, and the such feelings can sometimes drag on hour after lonely hour, then spill over from one day to the next, and at various points I might cry out in anguish, “Please god, please make it stop!” So, in no way do I mean to suggest that with meditation such experiences can be a breeze to get through.

On Bob’s Theme Time Radio show, he likes to read us some poetry from time to time. On his “luck” show, he tells us that Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Shallow men believe in luck, strong men believe in cause and effect.”

A little later, he tells us that,

Emily Dickinson had some feelings about luck. She didn’t think it was chance at all. Here’s what she had to say, “Luck is not chance, it’s toil. Fortune’s expensive smile is earned.”

Hmm. Upon thinking bout this, I think the quote is worth thinking about, but at the same time, it’s important to recognize that we can experience some bad luck that is in no way our fault. The families that lost love ones from the World Trade bombings, and suffered from that loss, hardly could be blamed for what had occurred.

This point is relevant as we move on to the part of Bob’s show when he answers his emails.

This one’s from William McDuff. He writes, “Dear Bob, I heard that next weeks’s subject is going to be about luck. Well, I’m the original bad luck kid. If it started raining soup, I’d be stuck with a fork. What can I do to turn my luck around?”

Well, Bill, you don’t mind if I call you Bill, do you, there is no such thing as bad luck. As Ray Kroc, who started McDonald’s once said, “Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.” Henry Ward Beecher, believed pretty much the same thing. “I never knew an early rising, careful, prudent man, careful of his earnings, and strictly honest who complained of bad luck.”

I hope your luck turns around Bill, and even if it doesn’t, you’re always welcome here on Theme Time Radio Hour, where we like to remind you that in the words of Roosevelt Sykes, “You can’t be lucky all of the time.”

I think Bob’s point is well worth thinking about, but at the same time, if you take from it the belief that falling on bad luck is always your fault, that would, in my opinion, be a mistake.

After Bob’s response to this email, he plays Sykes’ blues song, “You Can’t Be Lucky All of the Time,” which tells us about a woman who has been, of late, very lucky, but she may not want to rest too comfortably upon this luck for long because hard luck may be just around the corner.

After a few more songs, it’s poetry time once again:

Robert Burns

The poet, Robert Burns had a few words to tell us about the fickle fortune of luck. Let me share them with ya.

Though fickle Fortune has deceived me,
She promis’d fair and perform’d but ill;
Of mistress, friends, and wealth bereav’d me,
Yet I bear a heart shall support me still.

I’ll act with prudence as far ‘s I’m able,
But if success I must never find,
Then come misfortune, I bid thee welcome,
I’ll meet thee with an undaunted mind.

Of the last few great songs that Bob plays on this edition of “Theme Time Radio Hour,” I liked the best, Wynn Stewart’s “Three Cheers for the Loser.”

Wynn Stewart

Now gather around me blues
I’d like to make a toast
Let’s all extend three cheers
To a guy that’s lost the most

I don’t want your pity
Or your sympathy
Just three cheers for the loser
That’s me

Well, I set out to win her
Knowin’ I might lose
I didn’t think I’d end up
Talkin’ to the blues

The only thing I didn’t lose
Is her haunting memory
Three cheers for the loser
That’s me

Now blues I stand before you
And I’m still hurtin’ yet
The things I’ve been through
You know I won’t forget

Still I took it like a man
You know I set her free
Three cheers for the loser
That’s me

Bob closes his “Luck” show with a great, swinging rendition of “Here’s to the Losers,” sung by old blue eyes, Frank Sinatra:

Here’s to those who love not too wisely, know not wisely, but too well
To the girl who sighs with envy when she hears that wedding bell
To the guy who’d throw a party if he knew someone to call
Here’s to the losers, bless them all

Here’s to those who drink their dinners when that lady doesn’t show
To the girl who’ll wait for kisses underneath that mistletoe
To the lonely summer lovers when the leaves begin to fall
Here’s to the losers, a-bless them all

Hey, Tom, Dick and Harry, come in out of the rain
Those torches you carry must be drowned in champagne

Here’s the last toast of the evening, here’s to those who still believe
All the losers will be winners, all the givers shall receive
Here’s to trouble-free tomorrows, may your sorrows all be small
Here’s to the losers, bless them all

Well, that’s my show for this week. Till next time, whether your luck is up or down, you can count on the mighty wheel of fortune to keep turning round.

Tags Bob Dylan, Depression, Down on Your Luck, luck

Bob Dylan conflict resolution happiness

Bob Dylan On Happiness

Today we’re going to take a look at that treasure of an emotion, happiness. Although I’ve written on this this topic twice before (see “The Desire for Happiness” and “Hope and Happiness as Emotions)” there remains much left to be said.

The topic of happiness is relevant to insults and respect in a variety of ways. For example, if you tell people that your goal of life is to be happy, some may insult you for being shallow and lose a certain amount of respect for you. To Albert Einstein, happiness is perhaps a fitting goal for a herd of cattle. Goals of life that he admired fell under the umbrellas of truth, justice, and beauty.

Similarly, the great sage from Concord, Ralph Waldo Emerson, was not a fan of having happiness as a goal of life as we can readily see from the following quote:

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived, and lived well.

Why do some people object to having happiness as one’s main goal in life? Well, for some, it conjures up an image of people apparently satisfied with a life of chiefly lying on their couches drinking alcohol, taking pills, and watching as much TV as they can get away with. But there are people who say that their goal of life is happiness, and yet when you observe them, they are hardly shallow individuals, and their life activities don’t in any way match that of the image of couch potatoes. So, perhaps you are beginning to see, there are subtleties to this topic, subtleties which my earlier posts failed to adequately address.

As a fun way to explore further the issues that surround the experience of happiness, let’s utilized Bob Dylan’s Theme Time Radio Hour show episode on “happiness.” For those of you who would like to hear this delightful and thought provoking episode, it’s available for free on the internet HERE.

Bob’s Introduction to His Happiness Theme

With a stirring upbeat big band sound in the background, Bob opens his show with the following words:

Welcome everybody to Theme Time Radio Hour. It’s good to see so many familiar faces. I stopped off downstairs, got all the latest gossip from Carl’s Barbershop. I see they slapped on a new coat of paint in the lobby of the old Abernathy Building, and I’m happy to say that the coffee at Sampson’s is as strong as it ever was. Yes indeed-ee-doo, I could not be happier to be with you today. Even more so because today’s theme is something the second paragraph of the Declaration of Independence guarantees us the pursuit of, along with life and liberty. You guessed it. Stick around for the next hour where we’ll be playing songs all about happiness. I can’t guarantee that I’m gonna make you happy, but I’m gonna do my darndest.

Bob then launches into a swinging song by Hot Lips Page, titled “Feelin’ High and Happy.”

Better slip into your evenin’ clothes,
There’s a dance tonight at Joe’s,
Let’s go, I’m feelin’ high and happy
I’ve reserved a ringside seat for two,
Nothin’ but the best will do,
Let’s go, I’m feelin’ high and happy

As I listened to this song, I began to wonder what is it about going out to listen and to dance to lively music that often leads to feelings of happiness. Upon reflection, it came to me that typically people have desires to get some exercise and to be with some fun people. As these needs are met we begin to feel happy. And yet, as I thought about this a little more, it occurred to me that whenever I’ve gone out dancing, the songs and music are not only upbeat. There’s always some bluesy stuff thrown into the mix.

Even the lively “Feelin’ High and Happy” song has a line in it that reveals some troubles:

I just went into hock for everything,
When I do that it’s so we can swing
You know I’m feelin’ high and happy!

Whether the songs of troubles are about money, loss of love, struggles with drugs, or pretty much anything else, they almost always become part of the night of seeking a good time. Why is that?

I know, for me, the fact that I do have struggles that I’m seeking to overcome makes my life more interesting and meaningful. When I’m reminded of the struggles that I have had to overcome to achieve my desires, I find that it makes the happiness of achieving my desires ever more enjoyable. In fact, I don’t think we could be happy without the struggles that go along with achieving our desires.

Later in Bob’s Show On Happiness

Shortly after the Hot Lips Page song, Bob plays us a little audio clip of the pharmaceutical industry’s style of trying to sell happiness in the form of a pill:

Today, medical science recognizes that some folks aren’t helped by relaxing exercises. Doctors are now prescribing anxiety medicine. It makes those who fear they are about to quit, feel like they are ready to begin, bidding their darken spirits goodbye for the calming spirit of a cloudless sky.

I got the distinct impression Bob’s a bit skeptical of this salesman’s pitch.

Bob’s next song is by the soulful Al Green, “Nothing But Love and Happiness.” It begins,

Love and happiness (yeah)
Something that can make you do wrong
Make you do right
Love and happiness

The lyrics point out that as we seek to fulfill our desire for love there are times when things just don’t always end up on the happiness side of the spectrum. On the other hand, if we do find a love that works the way we might have dreamed was possible, love can make you wanna dance and sing.

In Bob’s next bit, he provides us a philosophical epigram:

Richard Gere told me something the Dali Lama once said, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” Hmmmm.

And then he introduces another song:

“Here’s Jimmie Heap and the Melody Masters, ‘Then I’ll be Happy.'”

The song begins,

I wanna go where you go,
Do what you do,
Love when you love,
Then I’ll be happy!

I wanna sigh when you sigh,
Cry when you cry,
Smile when you smile,
Then I’ll be happy!

We get a pretty clear sense in this song that there may be a deeper source of happiness that comes from some types of relationships even if it means sharing some tears from time to time. It has a kind, pleasant country feel to it.

Soon, Bob mixes a little philosophy with humor:

“One way to have a happy home is to practice Feng Shui, which in Chinese means wind and water. These are the things that flow naturally. Feng Shui causes us to focus on the qi, which is the energy of life and is incorporated in every part of our life.

“The bedroom is considered the most important room of the house and should have qualities of stillness and softness. You should use pleasing textures. The entrance of the house is also important. This is the transition from the outer world to your domain.

“Feng Shui isn’t just important for humans. The Los Angeles Zoo paid $4500 to a Feng Shui expert to make their monkeys from China feel more at home. I don’t think it was the Feng Shui that made them feel happy. I just think that monkeys just liked the idea that zoo keepers are willing to pay $4500 on them.”

Of the next few songs that Bob plays, the one that made me think most deeply about today’s topic is “Happy” by Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins. Some of the lyrics tell us:

They warn you about killers and thieves and knives
I worry about cancer and living right
But my momma never warned me about my own destructive appetite
Or the pitfalls of control
How it locks you in your grave
Looking for someone to be saved under my restraint
So I could be happy
Happy
Oh so happy

The lyrics, I think, remind us that although happiness comes from achieving our goals, some goals, when achieved only make us happy in the short term. In the end we pay too great a price for the fleeting happiness that comes from “destructive” appetites. Of course drug addictions are the most well known of these, but trying to force people to be under your control has its pitfalls as well.

As the Show Winds Down

The last song that Bob plays on his happiness show has a little lesson for us. It’s Happy Trails to You, by Roy Rogers and Dale Evans. I really like this verse:

Happy trails to you
Till we meet again
Some trails are happy ones
Others are blue
It’s the way you ride the trail
That counts
Here’s a happy one for you

Then Bob leaves us with a poem called “Happiness” by Jane Kenyon. I think that’s a fine way to end today’s post as well. Enjoy the poem, and I hope you visit From Insults to Respect again real soon

There’s just no accounting for happiness,
Or the way it turns up like a prodigal
Who comes back to the dust at your feet
Having squandered a fortune far away.

And how can you not forgive?
You make a feast in honor of what was lost,
And take from its place the finest garment,
Which you saved for an occasion

You could not imagine, and you weep night and day
To know that you were not abandoned,
That happiness saved its most extreme form
For you alone.

No, happiness is the uncle you never knew about,
Who flies a single-engine plane
Onto the grassy landing strip,
Hitchhikes into town, and inquires at every door
Until he finds you asleep mid-afternoon
As you so often are during the unmerciful hours of your despair.

It comes to the monk in his cell.
It comes to the woman sweeping the street with a birch broom,
To the child whose mother has passed out from drink.
It comes to the lover,
To the dog chewing a sock,

To the pusher, to the basketmaker, and to the clerk stacking cans of carrots in the night.
It even comes to the boulder
In the perpetual shade of pine barrens,
To rain falling on the open sea,
To the wineglass, weary of holding wine.

Tags Bob Dylan, happiness

Bob Dylan conflict management conflict resolution crying dig for the conflict Emotional pain respect tears

Bob Dylan On Tears

I have discussed the topic of crying and how it relates to how much respect a person might have for the crier in several earlier posts (see here and here). In those earlier posts we looked into the following questions: If I cry when criticized, does that mean I should view myself as acting like a baby? Is it right to view someone who cries as immature? In today’s post I’ll try to enrich some of these earlier issues by discussing Bob Dylan’s “Theme Time Radio Hour “show on the theme of tears (most of his shows are available on YouTube”.

Bob Dylan on Tears

Bob begins his show on tears as follows:

Well, welcome to Theme Time Radio Hour. In the background, some very sad music because this week, we’re gonna learn about sad clowns, crocodiles, and tear-stained make-up. We’re gonna look at a river of tears as we learn about crying. So grab yourself some Kleenex, heck, you better grab the whole box. Not that songs about crying are necessarily sad. This one at least sounds happy. It’s by Question Mark and the Mysterians–“96 Tears.”

Here are some of the lyrics to the song:

Too many teardrops
For one heart to be crying
Too many teardrops
For one heart to carry on

You`re way on top now since you left me
You’re always laughing way down at me
But watch out now, I`m gonna get there

We`ll be together for just a little while
And then I`m gonna put you way down here
And you`ll start crying ninety-six tears
Cry, cry, cry…

Hmmm, if this guy who is singing was a friend of mine actually going through a similar experience, how could I be helpful?

Well, just listening for awhile in a caring manner is almost always a good start. Rather than to be too quick to start offering advice or criticizing in any way, I might just softly summarize, every couple of minutes, what my friend has been saying, thus assuring him that I am accurately listening. If my summary is off the mark in any way, my friend will clarify.

At some point, I might explore with my friend his desire to not be crying. I understand that many people in our culture feel it is an immature act. You see this when someone does begin to cry in front of you and he or she quickly starts to apologize for crying. Is there some reason to change this attitude that crying is an act that only immature people do? Different people have different views about this.

Getting Back to the Dylan Show

After Bob opens his tear-soaked Theme Time Radio Hour show with “96 Tears,” which gave us an example of a man being bitter about his break-up with his lover, he plays a song by the lovely and talented Anita O’Day. In “And Her Tears Flowed Like Wine” Ms. O’Day provides us a woman’s perspective on what it’s like to be crying over how a lover mistreated her.

And her tears flowed like wine
Yes, her tears flowed like wine
She’s a real sad tomato
She’s a busted valentine
Knows her momma done told her
That the man is darn unkind

Next up on Bob’s show is a tune by the great blues singer, Bobby Charles, who reminds us that even “Big Boys Cry:”

I cried last night until I couldn’t
I’ll cry tonight, I know I shouldn’t
It hurts to know that I can’t reach her
I learned to lose, she was my teacher

Well I try to hide all the tears down deep inside
But even big boys cry

I climb the walls, I chew my fingers
I run around but her love lingers
Her friends say she don’t talk about me
They say she’s doing fine without me

Well I try to hide all the tears down deep inside
But even big boys cry
Oh

Well I try to hide all the tears down deep inside
But even big boys cry

There are quite a variety of songs that Bob Dylan plays that remind us that crying is part of life for pretty much everyone. Bob introduces one of my favorites like this:

Thomas Fuller once said, “We’re born crying, live complaining, and die disappointed. Hank Williams knew what he was talking about. This song is about a very specific depression inspired by a troubled relationship with his wife, Audrey Sheppard. Here that Lonesome Whippoorwill. He sounds too blue to fly. I’m so lonesome I can cry.

What human being is unable to relate to these sad lyrics?

I’ve never seen a night so long
When time goes crawling by
The moon just went behind the clouds
To hide its face and cry

Did you ever see a robin weep
When leaves begin to die?
Like me, he’s lost the will to live
I’m so lonesome I could cry

The silence of a falling star
Lights up a purple sky
And as I wonder where you are
I’m so lonesome I could cry

After a couple of more sad songs, Bob lightens things up a bit:

We still have plenty of tears to shed here on Theme Time Radio Hour’s crying edition.

He then plays a little of the audio track from the movie A League of Their Own. Tom Hanks, playing a manager of a women’s baseball team begins to shout criticism of one of his players. We hear the player begin to cry. Incredulous, Tom asks, “Are you crying?”

“No,” comes the reply from player, but then we hear her weeping.

“Are you crying?” Tom asks again, but now he is yelling. “There’s no crying! There’s no crying in baseball! There’s no crying in baseball!!! No Crying!!!!!”

For those who didn’t see the movie, it might be hard to understand why this scene strikes so many of us as funny, while touching at the same time. I guess you just have to see the movie to understand. I will say this, despite what Tom says in the movie, I have seen many men even in the major leagues crying after losing a big game. Often, they throw a towel over their head in an effort to hide their tears.

As Bob’s tear-fest show begins to wind down, he provides us a quote from Oliver Wendell Homes-“Laughter and tears are meant to turn the wheels of the same machinery of sensibility. One is wind power, the other, water power.”

Then he he tells us that “poets have always used crying as an inspiration. Here’s an example by Dylan Thomas.”

Clown In The Moon

Dylan Thomas

My tears are like the quiet drift
Of petals from some magic rose;
And all my grief flows from the rift
Of unremembered skies and snows.

I think, that if I touched the earth,
It would crumble;
It is so sad and beautiful,
So tremulously like a dream.

Well that’s pretty much my blog post for today. I hope it has provided you some food for thought about this whole crying stuff. And with that, let’s end with the words that Bob uses as he ends his show on tears:

Well, the old clock on the wall says it’s time to go. It’s a good thing because I’m out of Kleenex anyway. So I’m gonna hop in my car, head down the Robinson Freeway and get myself a beer I can cry into. In the meantime, remember the words of our former president, Woodrow Wilson: There is little for the great part of history except the bitter tears of pity and the hot tears of wrath.

———————
Some people will enjoy reading this blog by beginning with the first post and then moving forward to the next more recent one; then to the next one; and so on. This permits readers to catch up on some ideas that were presented earlier and to move through all of the ideas in a systematic fashion to develop their emotional intelligence. To begin at the very first post you can click HERE.

Tags Bob Dylan, conflict management, conflict resolution, crying, respect, tears

Bob Dylan conflict resolution fools insults Listening skills Name calling

Bob Dylan On Fools

Bob Dylan begins his Theme Time Radio Hour show about fools, with a beautiful instrumental version of “Why Do Fools Fall In Love.” After a few bars of this tune, it continues in the background as Bob begins to speak:

James Thurber

James Thurber once said, “You can fool too many of the people too much of the time,” and for the next hour we’re going to try to do just that. Welcome back to Theme Time Radio Hour. Today we’re going to talk about patsies, stooges, marks, jesters, jokers, buffoons, clowns, tricksters, harlequins, and the village idiots, because in honor of April first, it’s our fools’ program. Everybody plays the fool sometimes, and for the next hour we’re going to play the greatest records about our favorite halfwits, the fools.

Recently, I provided a post on this blog titled, “Bob Dylan on Madness,” as an entertaining way to practice some of the basic principles I regularly discuss. That post was so popular that I thought, Why not do a similar post utilizing Bob’s show on fools? After all, in addition to people at times seeking to insult themselves and others by saying such things as “You’re mad” or “You’re crazy,” they do likewise by saying such things as “You’re a fool” or “You’re a buffoon.” Are there more respectful, helpful ways to deal with situations that give rise to such name calling? I think so. Let’s see if we can have some fun thinking about this issue as we review Bob’s show on fools.

Chain of Fools

After Bob’s brief introduction, he dives right into Aretha Franklin’s emotionally charged song, “Chain of Fools.”

For five long years
I thought you were my man
But I found out
I’m just a link in your chain

You got me where you want me
I ain’t nothin’ but your fool
Ya treated me mean
Oh you treated me cruel

Chain, chain, chain
(Chain, chain, chain)
Chain of fools

Every chain, has got a weak link
I might be weak yeah
But I’ll give you strength

Oh, hey
Chain, chain, chain
(Chain, chain, chain)
Chain of fools

Here we find a woman calling herself a fool because she sees herself attached to a man who treats her cruel. I wonder how I would react to a woman telling me a similar story. I guess I would not rush into giving her any advice, but rather, give her some time to be with her emotional experience while I listened in a caring, empathic manner.

As we discussed in an earlier post titled “To Listen, Or To Criticize,” we often jump too quickly into providing advice. If you would like your listening skills to be respected, it helps to summarize, every few minutes, what is being said in a caring manner, thus reassuring the person talking to you that you are indeed listening and accurately hearing what is going on.

After perhaps fifteen minutes or so of listening and summarizing, I would continue to listen, but I might begin to start asking, as gently as possible, a few clarifying questions. I often use the DIG Conflict Model to come up with my questions. The letters of the word “DIG” would remind me to ask about what she “desires” in this situation, what is “interfering” with her desire, and if she feels she is “guilty” of doing something wrong. I would gently encourage her to be as specific as she could be. A statement like, I’m guilty of being a fool” is way too vague to be helpful in coming up with any practical plan. “I’m guilty of not going out to social events on Friday evenings so I can find a loving relationship with a man who would treat me with respect,” fits better with my image of being specific.

Aretha Franklin’s song continues with these words:

One of these mornings
The chain is gonna break
But up until the day
I’m gonna take all I can take, oh hey

Chain, chain, chain
(Chain, chain, chain)
Chain of fools

We see a glimmer of hope in these words. That weak link in the chain is not completely unbreakable. I think that at some point in my relationship with a woman dealing with this type of concern, I might ask what she thinks she might do if the chain would indeed break. My overall goal at this point in the relationship would be to focus not so much on what is wrong with what is happening in her life, but what she could specifically do to improve her situation.

Further On In the Show

A little later in Bob’s show, he introduces another song:

Hank Snow

Everyone plays the fool sometime. Hank Snow knew that. We talk about Hank an awful lot [on my show], and he was one of the biggest voices in country music from 1951 and 1955. He had a remarkable number of top ten hits. This is from the tail end of that streak, in 1955–“Now And Then There Is A Fool Such As I.”

Here are some of the lyrics:

Pardon me, if I’m sentimental
When we say goodbye.
Don’t be angry with me should I cry.
When you’re gone, yet I’ll dream
A little dream as years go by.

Now and then there’s a fool such as I.

…

And now you say that we are through.
I’m a fool, but I’ll love you dear
Until the day I die.
Now and then there’s a fool such as I.

Like the Aretha Franklin song, this Hank Snow song is about someone in love who is feeling like a fool. As it turns out, almost all of the songs Bob plays over the course of his hour show is about love and someone feeling like a fool. But they differ nevertheless. In the first two songs we find out about two people who are calling themselves fools, but the first one is about a woman who feels she’s a fool for staying connected with a man even though he treats her bad. The second song is about a man who feels foolish for continuing to love a woman even after she said they are through.

In other songs that Dylan plays during his show, a singer is trying to convince her parents that she’s no fool for loving a man that they think is less than ideal. Then there’s one about a man who is trying to convince a woman that she’s a fool for not loving him despite all that he has to offer.

One of the highlights of Bob’s show is a little audio clip of Humphrey Bogart, as Sam Spade, confronting Mary Astor as the femme fatale, Brigid, in the classic film noir, The Maltese Falcon.

Brigid, desperately: You’ve been playing with me, just pretending to trap me like this. You didn’t care at all. You don’t love me.

Spade: I won’t play the sap for you.

Brigid: You know it’s not like that! You can’t say that!

Spade: You haven’t played straight with me for half hour at a stretch since I’ve known you.

Brigid: You know down deep in your heart that in spite of everything I’ve done, I love you.

Spade: I don’t care who loves who, I won’t play the sap for you. You killed Miles and you’re going over for it.

As you can see, even when used in the context of love difficulties, the word, “fool,” or its related terms, are used to refer to quite a variety of different circumstances.

As we leave the love arena, we see that the term is used in even a wider set of circumstances. Thus, Bob tells us about the enormously talented singer, Frankie Lymon, who died way too early with a heroin syringe by his side. As another example, he tells us about a couple of football games:

Every field has its fools, and the biggest mistakes are made on the football field. For example, Roy Unsway Regales played for the University of California, and in the 1929 Rose Bowl Game, he got turned around and ran 65 yards in the wrong direction.

Jim, upon realizing his mistake.

That’s nothing compared to Jim Marshal who played for the Minnesota Vikings. On October 25, 1964 the Vikings were playing against the San Francisco 49ers. Marshal recovered a fumble and ran 66 yards in the wrong direction into his own end zone. He was so excited he threw down the ball in celebration. The ball landed out of bounds, resulting in a safety for the 49ers. Fortunately for him, the Vikings won the game anyway, 27 to 22, and I was there that day. Strange but true.

We All Sometimes Play the Fool

Throughout the show, Bob reminds us repeatedly that everyone plays the fool sometime. He does it in a variety of ways. Thus, before playing the song, “Three Times a Fool,” Bob tells us “It wouldn’t be bad if you were just a fool once a year, but all of us are fools on more than one occasion.”

A little later, he says:

We’re talking about fools of all stripes here on Theme Time Radio Hour. As Jean Brown once said, “Foolproof systems don’t take into account the ingenuity of fools.”

And still a little later, Bob gives us some quotes from Shakespeare and Twain on the subject of fools.

Shakespeare looking a little foolish in his outfit.

Shakespeare spoke quite often about fools. For example, in A Midsummers Night Dream he said, Lord, what fools these mortals be? Twelfth Night gave us the following line, Foolery, Sir, does walk about the orb like the sun. It shines everywhere. And From As You Like it, The more pity that fools may not speak wisely what wise men do foolishly.

Shakespeare, hell of a cat.

…

As Mark Twain says,”The first of April is the day we remember who we are the other 364 days of the year.

And so when people call us a fool, perhaps we may find that the sting of the comment is lessened if we keep in mind that no doubt these name callers have had their share of playing the fool on plenty of occasions. And when, out of old habits, we find ourselves calling either ourselves, or someone else a fool, perhaps a little sympathy with the human condition is in order.

Tags conflict management, criticism, fools, insults, name calling, negative criticism, respect, types of criticism

Bob Dylan conflict resolution crazy criticism DSM insults madness meditation mental disorders Mental Illness Name calling negative criticism psychiatry psychopathology The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders

Bob Dylan on Madness

As some of you may know, Bob Dylan has a show called “Theme Time Radio Hour.” As the title suggests, each episode is centered on a theme. He begins his episode on madness as follows:

“Let me ask you a few questions, friends. Are you disinterested in work or family life? Do you suffer from sleep disruption? Have you had significant changes in appetite? Have you had paranoid thoughts? Thoughts of grandeur or invincibility? Any feelings of persistent anxiety or perhaps panic attacks? Are you hearing voices or seeing people who are not there? Do you have thoughts of dying? Do you exhibit strong or violent anger? Do you have the inability to pursue a normal life, normal activities or normal relationships? Well, I’m no doctor, but perhaps you’re mad as a hatter; crazy as a loon. Have you lost your morals? Are your bats in the belfry? Maybe you’re nutty as a fruitcake? Crazy as a coot? Taxed in the head? Bunkers? Bananas? Deranged? Are you crackers or daffy? Unhinged or loco? Not all there or all around the bend? Maybe you’re cuckoo or buggy or simply non compos mentis? Do you talk to yourself? Do you ever binge out on food? Do you swing suddenly from one mood to another? Do vague acquaintances treat you as though they know you far better than you would expect?

Allan Ginsberg

“Allan Ginsberg once said that he had seen the best minds of his generation destroyed by madness. Now for the next hour we’ll be providing the sound track. We’re going to look at madness, insanity, and craziness.”

Introducing his theme in this way may seem like quite a mouthful for Bob, but he manages to carry it off rather well. There is deep, dungeon-like music in the background, and he varies his voice in a manner that is full of concern and dramatic interest. Besides, if you think Bob’s description of his theme is lengthy, take a gander at the latest American Psychiatric Association’s description of a related topic. In its book titled Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition, over 900 pages are consumed describing various “mental disorders.”

The theme of “madness” is relevant to this blog’s theme because when people seek to insult others, we commonly hear words like, “You’re mad,” “You’re crazy,” “You have a mental disorder,” and “You’re mentally ill.” Negative consequences often flow from such name calling. Individuals flinging these efforts to insult often become less respected by those who are their targets. Those who are their targets sometimes end up having less respect for themselves. From here, conflicts can escalate, leading to losing friends, problems at work, and even violence.

Dylan’s First Madness Song

Bob introduces the first song for his show on madness as follows:

“If craziness was a country, this would be the national anthem. Here’s Patsy Cline in a little number written by Willie Nelson–“Crazy.”

Patsy’s beautiful voice, accompanied by gentle piano riffs, drifts into its melancholy words–“I’m crazy, I’m crazy, for being so lonely. I’m crazy, I’m crazy for being so blue.”

The song goes on from here to weave the sad story of a woman calling herself crazy for loving a man whom she knows will soon be leaving her. She feels she’s crazy for worrying when he’ll leave, and crazy for trying, and crazy for crying, and crazy for loving this man.

Here we learn of just one type of experience that falls under the enormous umbrella of madness.

Connecting Madness With Genius

As the song phases out, Bob begins to tell us that according to Aristotle, “No excellent mind is without a tincture of madness,” a position with which Bob heartily agrees. He declares that “There is a thin line between genius and madness.” Defending this, he introduces us to several individuals who had been declared mad by some, and yet achieved at impressive levels in many valued fields. Thus, he tells us about the brilliant writer, Ernest Hemingway:

Earnest Hemingway

“Ernest Hemingway, for example, was convinced that people were out to assassinate him. His wife, Mary, tricked him into a mental hospital by telling him it was to treat his high blood pressure. He got shock therapy and maybe a dozen other treatments. It didn’t help. It left him more paranoid, delusional and depressed. He was afraid that his wife would put him away again, which many people believe is what led him to take his own life with a shotgun in July of ’61.”

Bob then tells us about the great jazz musician, Charlie Mingus:

Charlie Mingus

“Charlie Mingus spent some time away, although he later claimed he only had gone in to get papers declaring he was incompetent to get out of a contract with the gangster, Joey Gallo. Whatever the reason, he spent some time in Bellevue and was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic.”

After this, Bob tells us the story of two more jazz greats–Bud Powell and Charlie Parker. Both at times were troubled by demons.

Then there was a comic writer:

One man that was no stranger to madness was Bill Gates. He was the editor of E. C. Comics. He had a series of horror comics in the ’50s, but then he was targeted by the government who said that his comics were ruining the morals of America’s young people. He was supposed to water down all of his books. He had one humor comic he called “Mad.” He changed it to a magazine so it wouldn’t be subjected to the comics’ code of authority. It became a huge hit and generations of kids got their first lessons on comedy from the usual gang of idiots that he assembled. He never sold advertising in the magazine while he was alive and there were no sacred cows. Bill Gates, madman of free speech.”

Bob soon moves on to the story of a hell of a fine baseball player:

“One guy that was accused of cracking up was Jimmy Piersall. He became a professional baseball player at 18, signing with the Boston Red Sox in ’48. On May 24, 1952, just before the game against the New York Yankees, he got into a fist fight with Yankee infielder, Billy Martin. After that, he scuffled with his teammate, Mickey McDermott. The final straw came when Jimmy Piersall spanked the four-year old son of his teammate, Burnt Stevens during a game in the Red Sox clubhouse. The four-year old had tried to tweek his nose and poured lemonade down his shirt. You can see Jimmy’s position–Boy, you need a spanking. There were a number of incidences like this and he was sent down to the minor leagues. He got into a lot of trouble down in the minor leagues, and spent some time in the West Borough State Hospital. He was diagnosed with manic depression, but he still returned to baseball by the opening of the ’53 season. And get this, he finished ninth in the voting for the MVP award, and the next year he was the Sox’s regular center fielder.”

Feeling That We Are Crazy Is A Common Experience

In addition to describing these individuals who were thought to be mad by some and yet achieved greatness in various valued arenas, Bob provides diverse examples of regular Joes and Jills who displayed behaviors that were viewed as crazy by either themselves or others. These examples touch a chord in the listener because they illustrate experiences that are pretty close to what we have all experienced at different points in our lives.

Thus, the show’s take away lesson, as I see it, is that if you catch yourself calling yourself names such as “crazy” note that many of the most talented people have had similar experiences. Note, as well, that such criticism is too vague to be helpful. Learn to become more aware of these thoughts, to stand back and simply observe them passing through your mind–“Oh, there I go again calling myself mad.’ In time, you will come to a point at which you will formulate some more specific approach to make improvements in your life. The practice of meditation can help you to learn this skill.

If you are tempted to call someone else these types of names, remember that such names are way too vague, encompassing thousands of unusual and usual experiences. For criticism to be truly helpful, it is usually best to craft a statement that avoids name calling and statements about what someone did wrong, and instead provides specific suggestions for what the target of the criticism can do to improve. If you can not come up with such a statement right away, perhaps it would be best to delay the criticism until you have some time for your creative impulses to come up with something better than “You’re a crazy, mentally ill fool!”

Although these are my take away lessons for today’s post, let’s end with how the more poetic Bob Dylan ends his madness show:

“Time flies when you’re talking crazy, and we gotta get out of here. But before we do I want to leave you with the words of the man who is the voice of the barroom, poet of the gutter, and Shakespeare of the alleyway. Here’s a poem by Charles Bukowski called “Some People.”

some people never go crazy.
me, sometimes I’ll lie down behind the couch
for 3 or 4 days.
they’ll find me there.
it’s Cherub, they’ll say, and
they pour wine down my throat
rub my chest
sprinkle me with oils.
then, I’ll rise with a roar,
rant, rage –
curse them and the universe
as I send them scattering over the
lawn.
I’ll feel much better,
sit down to toast and eggs,
hum a little tune,
suddenly become as lovable as a
pink
overfed whale.
some people never go crazy.
what truly horrible lives
they must lead.”

——————————-

Some people will enjoy reading this blog by beginning with the first post and then moving forward to the next more recent one; then to the next one; and so on. This permits readers to catch up on some ideas that were presented earlier and to move through all of the ideas in a systematic fashion to develop their emotional intelligence. To begin at the very first post you can click HERE.

Tags Bob Dylan, conflict management, conflict resolution, criticism, insults, intrapersonal conflicts, madness, mental disorders, name calling, respect