Welcome to From Insults To Respect. Today, let’s consider a story in which the N-word gets used in a couple of very different ways.
A Rough Basketball Game
May, 1965.
“Wandering around the Coney Island area a few blocks from the amusement parks, 15-year old Steve and his nine-year old broth
er, Pete, spots some guys about his age playing basketball.
As they come closer, they see that a five-on-five game is in progress. “Look, Pete, they’re all colored guys.”
“You’re colored, Steve. You got brown skin and darker brown hair. The tall guy over there, Steve, his skin is darker brown than you, and, look, the guy who just shot the ball, he’s almost black.”
“Marone! Did you see that guy make that turnaround jumper?” Steve cries.
“Those guys are good, Steve.”
“Listen, Pete, let me play a quick game with them? I’ve played against some colored guys before and sometimes one or two were a step above, but these guys—Marone! You can watch or play over there with the guys your age.”
“I don’t mind watching you. It’s fun. You’re really good.”
Steve was taller than most kids his age and his speed and quickness led him to search out games that would really challenge him. Although not as tall as the two guys playing the center position for the teams playing now or one of the guys standing on the sideline, who looks to be close to six-feet, Steve is taller than most of the other players.
Walking beside the six-footer, Steve calls out, “I got next!”
“What?” the tall guy cries out as he turns to Steve and glares into his eyes.
“I got next,” Steve reasserts.
“Listen, kid, you watch any of this game over here. We guys are the best fifteen-year-olds in the area. Ain’t no white-ass boy gonna keep up with us.”
“You ain’t afraid to find out how true that is, are ya?” Steve replies with a twinkle in his eye.
“Well, I wouldn’t mind finding out if I was to play ‘gainst you, but I got next. That means we’d be on the same team. You make my team lose, I gotta sit out another game, you know what I’m sayin’?”
“I’ll tell ya what. After one game, if I haven’t proved to you I can keep up with you guys, I’ll leave and it’ll be the last you’ll ever see of this low-down white-ass kid.”
“Now here comes a real player,” the six-footer says as he notices the arrival of some guy he obviously knows. Heading over to greet him and his little brother, who is by his side, he warmly calls out, “How’s my nigga doin’?” Steve is a bit startled by this greeting, because he thought the use of the word “nigga” was insulting, and yet the six-footer used it as a pleasant greeting.
“I’m doin’ fine, Shorty.”
Calling the six-footer Shorty makes Steve smile.
When Shorty and the new arrival come close enough to one another they start giving each other this weird handshake: a slide of their palms, a bump of their fist, some twisting of their fingers, another palm slide, and then finishing up with both pointing at one another.
“You and the white kid got next, Shorty?” asks the new arrival.
“Well, I got next, Earl, but I don’t know ’bout this other guy. He says he wants to play, but sheeeeet.”
“Hi Earl. I’m Steve.”
Earl, a shade darker than Shorty, three inches shorter, has curly hair grown out distinctly longer than the others on the court. He sizes up Steve, shrugs his shoulders, and declares, “Let’s give him a try, see if he can fly.”
Shorty let’s out another prolonged, “Sheeeeet,” but resigns himself to having Steve for a teammate.
“You think you and these other guys out here are the best fifteen-year-olds in the neighborhood?” Steve asks.
“We don’t think it, we know it. We all play in this kick-ass basketball league in Coney Island. Last year’s basketball season, the coaches got together, and they made All Star teams for each of the age groups to compete with All Star teams in other neighborhoods. We guys were the Coney Island All Stars for the fourteen-year-olds, ya know what I’m sayin’? Now we’re fifteen and we’re getting ready for next season.”
“You guys get to play real organized basketball, like with grown-up coaches and real refs?” Steve says very much impressed.
“Sure.”
“Me, I only ever played street ball,” says Steve.
The game Steve, Earl, and Shorty had been waiting on comes to its finish.
“If ya fuckin’ passed the ball sometime, we could’ve won that game, ya fuckin’ nigga!” says one of the losers to a teammate.
“Ya momma!”comes the reply.
Steve notices this time the word “nigga” was used as an insult, leading him to scratch his head.
Shorty begins to walk on the court with his hands apart, looking at the guy who’s holding the ball.
Shorty catches a bounce pass, takes a couple of quick dribbles, and tosses up an eight footer—swish.
There’s a quick minute or two for some loosening up, and then Earl calls over his squad for a strategy session. “Listen-up,” he says. “We’ll play man to man. Steve, you take Mad Dog, the brother with the orange sweatshirt. Clyde, you take…”
“Time-out!” Steve interrupts while making a ‘T’ with his hands. “That kid over there with the gray sweatshirt, that’s who I want.”
“Sheeeeet!’ cries Shorty.
“That’s Jet!” Earl says looking astonished. “He’s the fastest nigga here!”
“I’ve been watching him,” Steve responds. “I think I can take him. When the game gets going, as soon as any of ya think I can’t, say so and I won’t say a word. But at least give me a chance.”
Earl shrugs his shoulders and says, “Okay, then Steve’s set wit’ Jet. Clyde, you take Mad Dog for now. Shadow, you do your thing on Darnell. Shorty, crash dem boards ‘gainst Bull and show him ya mean it! I’ll continue my habit of taking Rabbit. Me and Clyde are the best shooters on our team, so see if you can set us up. Obviously, if Shorty’s open underneath, work the ball into him. Steve, watch for Jet on the fast break.”
* * *
The way they play, it takes eleven points to win. Rabbit brings the ball up court at its start, Dribbling confidently, Rabbit dashes first to his right, then to the left, as Steve’s team-mate, Earl, D’s up on him—his hands taking swats at the ball, his body cutting off direct lines of attack.
Jet tries to break away from Steve, but Steve sticks to him like glue.
Mad Dog flashes into the passing lane as Rabbit shoves the ball into him. A quick step to the side, a spin jump and the ball is lofted upwards. Clyde leaps, sweeps at the ball, and ticks it just enough. Shorty pulls down the rebound, passes to Shadow, who dishes to Earl.
Crossing over to his team’s side of the court, Earl dances around as his players set up, then fires to Clyde, who spins and tosses up a mid-range jumper. It rattles around the hoop and kicks out.
Shorty tries to move in for the follow-up, but Bull has other plans. Although lacking a couple of inches in height, Bull has a twenty-pound advantage. He places his thick body in-between Shorty and the basket. The rebound goes to the high jumping Rabbit.
Steve starts back peddling as he sees Jet trying to dash by him. Rabbit flings the ball over everyone’s head in the direction of the basket down court. The ball is targeted to land about ten feet from his team’s basket and Jet is expected to have run it down and execute an easy lay-up.
Steve quickly turns his body as he switches from back-peddling to an all-out sprint in the direction of where the ball is heading. The adjustment costs him a precious fraction of a second, and he finds that Jet now has a half step on him. Putting his head down, Steve pours on the speed. As the ball hits the ground, Steve is dead even with Jet, but Jet has positioned his body so he has a direct line to the ball while Steve is to his right. Steve’s legs strain for some extra speed, his left hand rises, forms into a fist, and with the side of his fist he smashes the ball down against Jet’s shins. Careening off of Jet, the ball ends up out of bounds.
Jet and Steve use their final few steps to prepare themselves for crashing into the fence just beyond the basket. Then—Wham! As they bounce off, they go sprawling down, roll, and then thrust themselves back onto their feet. Because the ball last touched Jet before going out of bounds, it’s Steve’s team’s possession.
As Shorty recovers the ball, and from the corner of his eyes, he glances over at Steve.
* * *
Both teams are evenly matched. As it approaches the end, it’s even 9-9. The intensity ratchets up a notch. All game long, Bull has been doing some fine trench work, pushing Shorty off his favorite spots, but now he’s really smashing into him. Shorty, for his part, is playing pay-back with a vengeance. You can hear the thuds from a block away. And whenever someone sets a pick, look out. Collisions are becoming more and more violent—everyone pushing the limits.
Now, Jet is racing down the court with the ball.
No way he’s getting by me, Steve says to himself.
Eight feet from the basket, Jet slams on his breaks and leaps up for a fade-away jumper. Steve’s right on him.
Jet sees he’s got to fade back even more than he anticipated if he’s to get the ball over Steve’s outstretched arms. Arching his back, shifting his weight backwards as far as he can, while he and Steve are still in the air, Jet takes aim and launches the brown leathery sphere. A moment after the release, Jet comes crashing down on his back. Everyone watches the slightly rotating sphere sail upwards, then curve downwards, and then—slip through the hoop.
Jet’s teammate, Darnell lets out a long whistle.
“ALL RIGHT!” cries Bull.
Shorty, who had moved in for a rebound, comes down with the ball, takes it over to Steve, glares into his eyes, smashes the ball down, catches it as it bounces back up, tucks it under his arm, turns his back to Steve, and walks away fuming.
Steve’s face flushes, then he looks over to Jet. He’s still on his back wincing. With an extended hand, Steve helps him to his feet. Looking into Jet’s eyes, Steve says, “Nice shot.”
Jet smiles, then walks around testing the feel of his back. He touches his toes, goes through the motion of taking a jump shot. “I’m okay.”
The score is now 10 to 9. One more point by Jet’s team and Steve’s team loses.
Earl dribbles the ball on his way to his basket. Suddenly, Mad Dog, who is now about five feet from Earl, screams, “ERRRRRR!” Earl, momentarily distracted by the scream finds his eyes flash at Mad Dog. Rabbit, looking for this opening, leaps toward Earl and grabs the ball away. Mad Dog, at this same instant dashes in the direction of his basket. Rabbit flings the ball to him. Mad Dog is wide open and sinks an easy shot. Just like that—game over.
* * *
Somehow, despite Earl having messed up, Shorty is decent about it. “We gave them a good game, man,” he says. “They won’t fool us with that play again, that’s for sure.”
“Well, me and my brother are gonna get going, says Steve.”
“Why don’t ya stick around?” says Shorty. “The next game will be over before you know it.”
“I got a few things to take care of,” says Steve, “but you ok if I come back sometime to play. I learned a lot from you guys today.”
“Yeah, sure. I was just joshin’ ya earlier. We play Saturdays and Sundays in the afternoons and most days after school.”
“You’re all right, Shorty,” says Steve. Then he waves good bye.
* * *
It’s a curious thing how the N-word is used so differently in this story by these Black teenagers, as well as some current day rap singers. Although sometimes used as a term of endearment, if tried with non-Black guys, Blacks most likely would understandably seriously object. How come? What’s going on with this? And what does this have to do with respect?
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Some people will enjoy reading this blog by beginning with the first post and then moving forward to the next more recent one; then to the next one; and so on. This permits readers to catch up on some ideas that were presented earlier and to move through all of the ideas in a systematic fashion to develop their emotional intelligence. There is no cost for doing so. To begin at the very first post you can click HERE.
4. Level 4 individuals listen to the criticizer in a supportive, warm, friendly style, and then make it clear that they fully understand what was said. Moreover, they put the criticizer at ease by making statements that indicate that the wise learn from criticism. Some time is spent on showing that they are thinking about the criticism. If, after thinking about the criticism the criticism is deemed to be correct, they make a statement frankly indicating, “I can see your ideas have merit and I intend to use them in the future.” If they are not sure if they agree, they make a statement indicating that they are very interested in what was said, plan to think a little more about this over the next few days and then they will be ready to discuss this further. If, after thinking about the criticism, the criticism is deemed to be incorrect, a statement is made designed to disagree without being disagreeable. More specifically, a sense of humor, some listening in a caring way and a few smiles help to traverse rough terrain. As the episode winds down, the criticizer is encouraged to feel comfortable communicating suggestions in the future.
On this blog, we have been exploring the various characteristics that help people earn self-respect and respect from others. Today we focus on one of these–staying in physical and emotional shape by taking a daily walk. It is, of course, true enough that some good people have earned an enormous amount of respect even without bothering to stay fit, but let’s not have such cases deter us from at least considering the value of enhancing our respectability by engaging regularly in this financially free activity.
Just this past week the 
Welcome back to Theme Time Radio Hour, and you will have to forgive me if I sound a little out of breath. I just got back from my morning constitutional. A good walk is important for both body and soul. 
Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking.” Aldous Huxley said his father considered a walk among the mountains the equivalent of church going. And the father of democracy, Thomas Jefferson, was known to say, “Of all exercises walking is the best.” 
All the world, and all through history, people have known the benefits and joys of walking. So today we’ll be walking on the air, but we will not be walking on eggshells. If you’re walking the dog, or you can walk on water, or walk on clouds, or walk in rhythm, or just walk and not look back, you are going to enjoy the next hour as we play a musical accompaniment to your perambulations. So, get ready to walk the walk, and talk the talk.
Immediately after this delightful intro, Bob plays us a Jack Scott rockabilly song called “The Way He Walks.” There’s some fine harmonizing on this one.
The average person takes between 8,000 and 10,000 steps a day, and walks about 115,000 miles in their lifetime. Wow, that’s more than four times around the world. 
And then he launches into a great hit by Fat’s Domino, “I’m Walkin.’” Here are some of the lyrics:
The next song Bob plays for us has a similar theme, “Walking by Myself” by Jimmie Rogers.
Interestingly, even if Andy deliberately tried to punish her by acting rude, if Marsha didn’t react by feeling humiliated or wounded, with the definition that I’m currently considering, I would say that he did not insult her.
“Judy, it’s so nice to see you,” I say as she comes into my office and sits down on my couch.
“Well, Judy, I didn’t mean to be discourteous or rude. I certainly am not trying to do anything that tears you down–just the opposite.”
“Now, during my training on how to help people with this type of concern, I had professors who viewed themselves as developmental psychologists. These professors view people as going through different developmental stages or levels, moving from relatively immature levels to more mature levels. They didn’t merely name each level, they did their best to go beyond the name to describe each higher level so that people, if they chose to do so, could have enough information to make some life changes.
For example, one approach would have you stop reading my blog, and when you visit my office I’ll listen to you in a caring, supportive way. From time to time, I’ll ask you a few questions to challenge you to think more deeply about the issues that you are raising. When you reply, I won’t give you my opinion. Instead, I’ll listen and empathize with what you are experiencing.”
“All right, Judy. Another thing that we can try is this. Some people, when they are provided negative criticism, always feel insulted even when the criticism is provided without any name calling, insults and shouting. Other people, even when they are provided negative criticism with name calling, insults and shouting don’t feel insulted. Attempts to insult them are like water off of a duck’s back. These people can hear the negative criticism that comes with efforts to humiliate and wound their feelings, and they can seek to learn something from the criticism. Sometimes they do experience some strong emotions that arise when they hear the negative criticism, but this is experienced not as humiliation, but, instead, as an experience that helps them to come up with more efficient, effective, economical and beautiful accomplishments. If you want, over the next few weeks we can work on this.”
As I write this post, Election Day, with all of its turbulence, has now passed us by. Perhaps now is a good time for us to take some deep calming breaths and reflect on all that transpired.
We knew beyond doubt that our president was an inveterate liar, a business cheat, and a bully, but the debate last week proved that he refuses to adhere to any rules, even those upon which he has himself agreed. Those who counted say he interrupted 71 times in 90 minutes. That should not come as a surprise, since he does not appear to respect any of the laws that everyone else is expected to obey, including our Constitution. Talk about a lack of law and order.
With regard to the environment issue, Trump has repeatedly claimed scientists are perpetuating a hoax when they tell us that urgent action is needed to transition from fossil fuels to renewable sources of energy such as wind and solar. My guess is that rather than really believing this is a hoax, Trump promoted it because of how crucial he viewed winning Pennsylvania was for his chances to be elected.
The Keystone State obtains huge economic benefits from its fracking industry, which is a technique that draws the fossil fuel of natural gas from deep below the Earth’s surface. To move forward on a transition plan threatens the livelihood of many state citizens, and consequently, anyone supporting such a plan risks losing a significant number of votes.
I will explain my reasons for this guess shortly, but let’s just pretend, for the benefit of this exercise, that it is true that Trump does respect science but his desire to hold onto the presidency is of greater importance to him. If you were convinced that Trump chose holding on to the presidency over protecting the health and safety of human beings by avoiding further damage to the environment, would that influence how much respect you have for him? How much would it influence you?
In the articles that I came upon in my search, much of the argument that claims Trump does not respect science comes from his statements that contradicted or undermined the pandemic recommendations from science experts within and outside his own administration. Also, in complete contradiction to scientific evidence, he has repeatedly told the American people that the end of the virus’s spread was just around the corner, and continued to do so even as it was increasingly plain to all that the virus was spreading at alarming rates. Nevertheless, as I indicated in the previous section, I doubt that these public statements of Trump are really indicative of his true feelings. Here’s why.
First of all, on Bob Woodward’s tape recordings, Trump repeatedly admitted, based on the information he received from his expert scientists, just how deadly and contagious the virus is. Thus, on February 7 he told Woodward the disease is “deadly stuff.” In an April 5 interview with Woodward, Trump explained, “It moves rapidly, Bob. It moves rapidly and viciously. If you’re the wrong person and if it gets you, your life is pretty much over if you’re in the wrong group.” During his April 13 interview with Woodward, Trump told the journalist that the virus is “so easily transmissible, you wouldn’t even believe it.”
With regard to his financial interests, it is well known that Trump is heavily invested in hotels around the world. When Trump heard about the pandemic from his advisors, when he asked about what needed to be done to contain it, he was told that the public has to stay home and only leave their homes for absolutely essential reasons. This is not at all good news for someone in Trump’s financial situation. And keep in mind, he has repeatedly faced bankruptcy, a pretty awful experience, especially for someone who hates the image of a loser.
Although Trump claims he has been playing down the seriousness of the virus because he doesn’t want to cause a panic, this is implausible. If he was in a reasonable state of mind, he would have known the general public would hear from plenty of experts an accurate account of the risks that are involved.
The most plausible reason to me is because many of his base supporters delight in claiming the news is fake. We see them at his rallies throwing up their arms in jubilation each time he mentions the “awful lying fake media.” Many of them, just like him, are in denial about the dangers of the pandemic because a full shut down of nonessential businesses has terrible consequences for their own businesses, and the thought of not partying at bars is, to them, completely unacceptable.
For this part of today’s exercise, I’d like you to rate Trump’s style of responding to criticism. To help guide you in coming up with your rating, below is one model that describes five different responding to criticism styles. I put them in order from the least respected to the most respected. Each higher level is viewed as more mature, likable, and respected by a wide group of individuals who watched video recordings depicting different people displaying the five different styles.
Weeps or sobs with tears or pouts without using any of the higher level skills
4. Level 4 individuals listen to the criticizer in a supportive, warm, friendly style, and then make it clear that they fully understand what was said. Moreover, they put the criticizer at ease by making statements that indicate that the wise learn from criticism. Some time is spent on showing that they are thinking about the criticism. If, after thinking about the criticism the criticism is deemed to be correct, they make a statement frankly indicating, “I can see your ideas have merit and I intend to use them in the future.” If they are not sure if they agree, they make a statement indicating that they are very interested in what was said, plan to think a little more about this over the next few days and then they will be ready to discuss this further. If, after thinking about the criticism, the criticism is deemed to be incorrect, a statement is made designed to disagree without being disagreeable. More specifically, a sense of humor, some listening in a caring way and a few smiles help to traverse rough terrain. As the episode winds down, the criticizer is encouraged to feel comfortable communicating suggestions in the future.
In addition to actions consistent with level 4, people responding to criticism in a manner consistent with level 5 seek ways to use, whenever they disagree with the criticism, a technique known as steering in the direction the criticizer would prefer to go. That is, rather than just disagreeing without being disagreeable, the criticized person seeks to find a new choice of action that creatively utilizes some aspect suggested from the criticism. Steering cannot be incorporated into all situations, but it is an additional goal of the most mature individuals.
For this part of today’s exercise, I’d like you to rate Trump’s style of providing criticism. As I did when I asked you to rate his style of responding to criticism, to help guide you in coming up with your rating, below is one model that describes five different styles placed in order from the least respected to the most respected.
Well, there you have it, an exercise designed to deepen your idea about the nature of respect. As I mentioned above, you are of course free to create your own conceptualization of respect according to your own lights. Nothing that I’ve said throughout this exercise is designed to be presented in a dogmatic fashion.
My last post, 
Wonderfully capturing this sentiment is a YouTube 
Off the field, Jeter founded the 
In interviews, even though he had plenty to brag about, and even when he had just won a big game with a clutch hit, Jeter remained humble while directing credit to his teammates.
One thing that I particularly admired about Jeter was that although he so passionately wanted to win, this desire was not expressed by hating his rivals. We saw this being expressed each time he would get a hit, for he had a delightful way of engaging in some friendly exchange with the player trying to hold him close to the base so he wouldn’t steal. Jeter’s ready smile during these interactions, even in the midst of a crucially important game, endeared him to players throughout the major leagues.
As an example of what many thought a serious mistake in judgment, when Jeter assumed leadership of the Miami Marlins baseball team, he naturally wanted to bring in his own assistants. This meant he had to fire those who had been in those positions before he arrived. Rather than personally calling all of these individuals to explain why he was letting them go, he had one of his underlings do most of the dirty work. The press picked up the story, and hopefully Jeter, and the rest of us as well, learn something from this.
As a Yankee for twenty years, Jeter had ample opportunities to welcome new players joining the team. Not being a Yankee player myself, I can’t speak to how he handled this. But one thing that I do know, how it is handled can go a long way toward earning a significant degree of respect from the new guy, as we will now see.
In recent years, the major leagues developed a policy seeking to end this practice of hazing.
Wee Willie Keeler was still a pretty decent ballplayer, even then…. Wonderful fellow. I was too shy to say anything to him, but he came over to me one day and said, “Jim, you’ve got a great career ahead of you. If I can help you in any way, you just say the word.” How about that? 
Baseball field managers are a special subgroup of these ballplayers. Typically, they played professionally for many years, demonstrating keen knowledge of the game, and upon reaching an age at which they are too old to continue playing at a professional level, they are singled out by club owners and their upper management team as having leadership abilities. Here, we will take a quick look at two of these guys, John McGraw and Connie Mack, not because they were perfect human beings that never made a mistake, but because a few of their attributes are particularly informative when we want to get insights about the nature of respect.
Take Mr. McGraw. What a great man he was! The finest and grandest man I ever met. He loved his players and his players loved him. Of course, he wouldn’t stand for any nonsense. You had to live up to the rules and regulations of the New York Giants, and when he laid down the law you’d better abide by it.
Another attribute that Snodgrass appreciated about McGraw was his willingness to let players make decisions on their own initiative.
Chief Myers was a catcher for the Giants. What did he appreciate about McGraw? Before playing for McGraw, he and the other players were always booked at the cheapest hotels.
In addition to McGraw, we find in Ritter’s book players repeatedly voicing high respect for Connie Mack.
In my opinion, Connie Mack did more for baseball than any other human being–by the example he set, his attitude, the way he handled himself and his players. You know, like you’re playing a great game and you’re heroes to the children of this country. Live up to it, conduct yourself accordingly. Over a period of years others followed, and baseball became respectable. He was a true gentleman, in every sense of the word. Not many men are.
The game of baseball offers us a unique look at the nature of respect for two reasons. First, the game provides several unusually objective statistics that give us a pretty good idea of the talent of a player. In many other fields, such as art or teaching, the criteria for talent is far less objective. Second, we find that despite this unusually objective talent criteria of baseball, when we take a look at two players that played the same position in the same era and have excellent statistics, sometimes we discover they have very different levels of respect given to them by the players’ peers and baseball fans. When we see such differences, by looking at the reasons players and fans give for this, we get particularly keen insights about the nature of respect, insights that can be applied not only to the green fields of baseball, but to other fields as well.
Students of the game of baseball know that outfielders Ty Cobb and Babe Ruth were among the all time most talented players and yet the respect afforded to each can not be more different. In Lawrence S. Ritter’s wonderful book, The Glory of Their Times: The Story of the Early Days of Baseball Told by the Men Who Played It, we get a sense of why this is. So, for instance, Davy Jones played on the same team as Cobb. Here’s what he had to say:
Cobb was a very complex person–never did have many friends. Trouble was he had such a rotten disposition that it was damn hard to be his friend. I was probably the best friend he had on the club. I used to stick up for him, sit and talk with him on long trips, try to understand the man. He antagonized so many people that hardly anyone would speak to him, even among his own teammates.
In many ways he was resented by a lot of players because he was so doggone good, and that plus being ignored because he had such a nasty disposition meant that the man was very lonely. Of course, he brought a lot of it on himself, no doubt about that. A lot of time it seemed as though he was just asking for trouble.
Cobb was a great ballplayer, no doubt about it. But he sure wasn’t easy to get along with. He wasn’t a friendly, good natured guy, like Wagner was, or Walter Johnson, or Babe Ruth…. He came up with an antagonistic attitude, which in his mind, turned any little razzing into a life-or-death struggle. 
The Babe was always friendly, a real nice guy who’d go out of his way any time to do you a favor. When Cobb was out there on that ball field, look out. He wasn’t anybody’s friend then. He was out to win, regardless….
Mike is from duh Bronx, so naturally he is a huge Yankees fan. When I asked him about this topic he wrote me an email that said in part:
Respect for the person, I think, is very difficult to assess since few fans know the player as a person. There are countless examples of superb players who are rotten human beings. Several are in the Hall of Fame, ex. Ty Cobb. There are also examples of superb players who were also superb human beings. Several are in the Hall of Fame, ex. Lou Gehrig. Most players of all levels of ability are unknowable as human beings to fans.
Respect for the game, I think, depends largely on one’s definition of “how the game should be played.” For some, that is linked to sportsmanship. For others, that is linked to the bottom line of winning (I’m talking about pros here.) The recent Houston Astros scandal [involving using electronic devices to steal a catcher’s signals to his pitcher and relaying it to the batter] for example, was not valuing sportsmanship, but was valuing winning. Respect for the game is about behavior and that’s what is so tricky. 
Throwing a spitter, stealing signs, pitching high and tight, scuffing a baseball, juicing a bat, showing up an opponent, taking out a middle infielder or catcher, running up the score, bunting when far ahead, sliding with spikes up, hustling, showboating: some are time-honored acts, others are against the rules (written and unwritten) of the game. Some were, to complicate things, within the rules at one time and are not within the rules now.
It has been said that hitting a round ball square with a rounded bat is the hardest thing to do in sports. It has also been said that pro baseball is a hard game played by hard men. Most fans idealize the game and its players and collectively have created a mythology about it. Most players are doing every thing they can to earn a living and have no illusions about being part of a mythology. That is a real disconnect, wouldn’t you say?
Interestingly, Mike once had one of his poems published in ELYSIAN FIELDS: THE BASEBALL REVIEW, 1994. It poetically asks how fans feel about the incredibly talented player, Pete Rose, after he was banned from baseball for betting on games and lying about it. Mike used E. E. Cummings’s “Buffalo Bill” poem as the template for his poem, with its unusual combining of words:
I’ve always respected Mariano Rivera. He was the best ever at a position but always seemed so humble and down to earth. And even though he made millions of dollars, he moved back to Panama to be a preacher after he retired. It’s not at all the life path I would have chosen, but as far as I can tell, he avoided all the pitfalls of fame and fortune, and I respect anybody who can handle that situation with class and not be pulled in by all the peer pressure and expectations attached to that. 
When I was growing up, the Phillies were arguably the worst team in the major leagues. After so many years rooting for a team that would lose so, so many games, suddenly Roberts appeared on the scene, along with the other young “Whiz Kids” and it was such a thrill to suddenly have a competitive team.
Dave is a friend of mine who grew up in Queens and naturally became a Mets fan. However, now that he has been living in Georgetown, he has been rooting for the Nationals.
Hall of Famer Roberto Clemente is Dave’s choice for all time most respected baseball player. Dave mentioned Roberto’s incredible athleticism and his devotion to helping people living in dire circumstances. For those not familiar with Roberto’s charitable efforts, here’s some of the story according to Wikipedia:
The airplane he chartered for a New Year’s Eve flight, a 
All who saw Roberto Clemente in action, whether on the diamond or on the front lines of charitable endeavor, are richer for the experience. He stands with the handful of men whose brilliance has transformed the game of baseball into a showcase of skill and spirit, giving universal delight and inspiration. More than that, his selfless dedication to helping those with two strikes against them in life has blessed thousands and set an example for millions. As long as athletes and humanitarians are honored, Roberto Clemente’s memory will live; as long as Citizens Medals are presented, each will mean a little more because the first one went to him.