Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Today we take an interesting look at two states of being, depression and melancholy. 
A central difference between the two has to do with throwing insults at ourselves; when we are depressed we spend a great deal of time doing that, in melancholy, not so much. To better understand what I mean by this, and to clarify the natural function of depression and melancholy, it will be worthwhile to first take a brief look at another state of being, sleep.
Six Similar Characteristics of Sleep, Depression, and Melancholy
As a result of our special familiarity with sleep–we experience it pretty much every single day–when I point out six of its characteristics, everyone will readily know what I’m talking about. It will then be easier to see that similar characteristics occur with the less familiar depression and melancholy experiences.
Six Characteristics of Sleep
Before we go to sleep, we experience a warning that sleep is heading our way. We refer to this warning as “feeling sleepy.”
When we get this warning, there are a few things we can do to exercise some control over when we actually fall asleep. For example, when we are sleepy while eating breakfast but have to go to work, typically we can muster our determination to put off sleep until later.
At some point, like it or not, and even with the greatest determination to stay awake, sleep will come.
Feeling sleepy can range from being a little sleepy, all the way to the point where we can barely keep our eyes open. This range of sleepiness is dependent on a special memory that stores how sleepy you are. This memory can be visualized as a bucket. If you are a little sleepy in the morning, the bucket is viewed as only slightly filled. If you manage to divert your attention from the sleepiness so you can go to work, by the time you get back home, your sleepiness memory hasn’t forgotten that the bucket was slightly filled earlier, and now that several more hours have gone by without getting some sleep, the bucket has filled up beyond the height than it was in the morning. 
This becomes noticeable by more frequent waves of sleepiness, and each wave feels more heavy or intense. If you divert your attention from how sleepy you are so you can have dinner and watch a few of your favorite TV shows, you will find that none of your earlier sleepiness has been completely forgotten for long, and on top of that, even more sleepiness has been added. 
By the time you are watching the opening monologue of the Tonight Show, your bucket may now be filled up, and sleep will come even if you try to resist.
Just like there is natural variation in the various characteristics of us humans, like how tall we are or the color of our hair, different people have various size sleepiness memory buckets. Most have average size buckets, and after about sixteen hours without sleep their bucket becomes pretty filled up and they will typically sleep for about eight hours. Other people can go with less sleep; others require more sleep.
Finally, some people, desiring to avoid having their bucket getting filled up too early, will carve out some time in their day to take a nap or two. Each nap lowers the level in their bucket, and they therefore remain more alert during the day after a few minutes of grogginess passes.
Summarizing the six sleep characteristics I want to bring to your attention, 1. sleep has a warning sign, 2. we can delay sleep for a limited period of time, 3. despite our efforts at putting off sleep, at a certain point sleep will come, 4. we have a special memory that remembers how sleepy we are, 5. people vary on how much sleep they need, and 6. we can decrease the duration of our major sleep event by doing something we call a nap.
The Six Characteristics Of the State of Being that is Often Referred to As Depression
As Katrina is on her way to work, a concern arises within. “My job is not really right for me,” she says to herself. “It’s getting more and more boring, and the pay is barely enough to make ends meet. I have to make a change.”
Now she has arrived. She pauses and says to herself, “I’m going to put off dealing with this job concern ’cause I have to focus on my work responsibilities.”
Katrina finds that throughout her work hours, for the most part, she is able to put off thinking about this concern, though from time to time, she does notice a wave going through her reminding her of it. Each time this happens, she finds that she can cut it off quickly so she can focus on her job responsibilities.
So far in this scenario, we begin to see some similarities between sleep and the buildup of concerns that might lead to depression. That is, each wave of sleepiness is a warning sign that a person will need to get some sleep soon, and each wave of concern that Katrina is experiencing is a warning sign that she will soon have to address her job concern. We also see, in this Katrina scenario, that she can exercise some control over when she addresses her concern, putting off dealing with it until a more convenient time. Notice that this is similar to sleep in that when we feel sleepy, we still can put off going to sleep for a while.
Now, let’s continue with Katrina’s story.
After work, she meets her mother at a nice restaurant to have dinner. There, her mother reveals that she has discovered a lump in her breast.
Upon arriving home, Katrina puts on the TV to see some shows she likes. While watching, she finds that her concerns intrude into her consciousness more frequently and in a more intense manner than previous recent days. In the medical model of thinking about this, these intrusions would be viewed as symptoms of a possible mental disorder. As I view them, they are as natural as a sunrise.
Later in the week, Katrina finds out that her mother’s lump has been diagnosed as cancerous. Then the guy that Katrina has been dating and is really crazy about, calls. In as pleasant a manner as he can muster, he ends his relationship with Katrina explaining he has met someone new. Despite Katrina’s effort to stay positive, she finds she can no longer put off experiencing feelings of disappointment, despair, anguish, sadness and tears.
Like the sleep memory that we visualized as a sleepiness bucket, we can visualize the concern memory also as a bucket. As time passes for Katrina, her memory bucket remembers all of her previous unresolved concerns, and as new concerns come her way, her bucket begins to fill up more and more. As it does so, she experiences more frequent reminders of needing to deal with all of her concerns, and these reminders begin to feel heavier or more intense. Eventually, her concern memory bucket becomes filled to the top and, therefore, putting off dealing with her concerns can no longer be done.
As it did for sleep, this visual metaphor of a bucket works well for depression in two other ways. First, when we look at the various characteristics of depression, we find variation in people’s ability to put off until a more convenient time addressing their concerns. We can visualize this as having either a large, average, or small concern memory bucket. Second, like the sleep memory bucket which we can decrease its contents prior to our main sleep experience by taking naps, there are ways we can decrease the contents in our concern memory bucket before entering into a full blown episode of depression. For example, by meditating once or twice a day, this provides an opportunity to spend time addressing concerns with little distractions.
Meditation is supremely useful for this because the practice involves going to a quiet place and then closing your eyes. Although during meditation you may spend some time focussing on your mantra, this mantra task is so simple that ample time and mental space is available for your concerns to bubble up to the surface where they can be addressed while you are in a relatively calm state.
Taking a walk, or watching a sporting event like baseball also provide a lot of down time to mull over our concerns, and therefore, are examples of other ways we can work though our concerns in a manner that allows us some control over when we have to deal with a full blown depression experience. 
In today’s world, because there are so many opportunities to distract us from addressing our concerns, from entertaining TV shows, movies, the ease of calling friends, and engaging on social media platforms, methods that free us from so many distractions for periods of time can be enormously helpful.
A Difference Between Sleep and Depression
We have just looked at six characteristics of depression that are somewhat similar to the six characteristics of sleep that we discussed earlier in this essay. There are, of course, some differences between sleep and depression. The difference I want to point out here is that the passing of time is the main factor that leads to needing to go into a period of sleep. The longer you are awake, the sleepier you are likely to become.
When it comes to depression, time is still a factor because the more time passes, the more concerns can develop in a person’s life. Nevertheless, a much bigger factor that influences when someone enters a state of depression has to do with the nature of each concern. 
Some concerns are relatively easy to address, others are harder. Moreover, concerns vary with regards to how threatening they are to one’s goals.
Easy to resolve concerns are taken out of the bucket after a brief period of reflection, while difficult to resolve conflicts take up space in the bucket sometimes for years. Highly threatening concerns take up far more room in the bucket than low threatening concerns. If they are highly threatening and hard to resolve, much of one’s bucket can be almost filled to the brim for years. When this happens, for years each warning about the need to address concerns will be more intense, and it will take much less additional concerns to fill up the bucket. Thus, people who experience traumatic events are more likely to experience depression more often.
The Difference Between Depression and Melancholy
The six characteristics that apply to depression apply to melancholy as well. The chief difference between the two, as I mentioned earlier, is when people experience depression they insult themselves, whereas when people experience melancholy, not so much.
As the bucket begins to fill up, those who are prone to throw personal insults at themselves, typically choose ones that have to do with feeling guilty about becoming depressed, past mistakes, being crazy, and being worthless. The psychiatric model has them thinking they have bad genes, a lifelong pathological condition, as well as having a condition that is stigmatizing. 
All of this leads to the person experiencing self-loathing. The insults people attack themselves with add to the concerns in their bucket, leading to it becoming fuller more quickly than if they did not do this, and the insults are distracting, so that the real work of addressing the real concerns are less efficiently addressed.
In contrast, consider how musician and song writer Joni Mitchell described melancholy in her beautiful song, “Hijira.”
There is comfort in melancholy where there is no need to explain, it’s just as natural as the weather in this moody sky today.
In melancholy, the person practices self-compassion and views the experience as a natural helpful process.
David Whyte is one of the finest writers to capture the essence of the melancholy state. We get a sense of this by reading the following from his fine book, Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment, and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words:
Disappointment is inescapable but necessary; a misunderstood mercy and when approached properly, an agency for transformation and the hidden, underground, engine of trust and generosity in a human life. The attempt to create a life devoid of disappointment is the attempt to avoid the vulnerabilities that make the conversations of life real, moving, and life-like; it is the attempt to avoid our own necessary and merciful heartbreak. To be disappointed is to reassess ourself and our inner world, and to be called to the larger foundational reality that lies beyond any false self we had only projected upon the outer world….
Despair takes us in when we have no where else to go; when we feel the heart cannot break anymore, when our world or our loved ones disappear, when we feel we cannot be loved or do not deserve to be loved, when our God disappoints, or when our body is carrying profound pain in a way that does not go away.
Despair is a haven with its own temporary form of beauty; of self-compassion, it is the invitation we accept when we want to remove ourselves from hurt. Despair is a last protection. To disappear through despair is to seek a temporary but necessary illusion, a place where we hope nothing can ever find us in the same way again.
Despair is a necessary and seasonal state of repair, a temporary healing absence, an internal physiological and psychological winter when our previous forms of participation in the world take a rest; it is a loss of horizon, it is the place we go when we do not want to be found in the same way anymore. We give up hope and certain particular wishes are no longer able to come true and despair is the time in which we both endure and heal, even when we have not yet found the new form of hope.
Melancholy provides a richer, and more powerful approach for addressing our concerns, even the most challenging ones. It doesn’t waste time with all of the insults, though, because of old habits, some may still leap into consciousness. When they do, those in melancholy can observe them without believing they are true. Rather, they recognize them as old unhelpful habits, allow themselves to experience the physical sensations that come with them, and then, when those sensations pass in their own good time, they move on to other work that needs to be done.
Transforming Depression To Melancholy
In our society, many of us learn to address our concerns using the depression pattern. How can they change that pattern so, when the bucket is full they experience, instead, melancholy?
One way that can be helpful, and won’t cost any money, is to start reading my blog, beginning with the first post (see HERE). Additionally, my three novels provide an entertaining way to learn to develop self respect (see HERE). There is a modest cost to purchasing them, but the ebook versions are very inexpensive.
Though most personal counselors are stuck in the medical model that pathologizes the experiences we discussed today, more and more are turning to an alternative approach that values enhancing self-compassion. Naturally my two favorites of these are my son, Jack Star Rubin, and his talented wife, Emily Whyte Rubin. You can learn about their services, which are available online, by clicking HERE. They rely on a variety of wisdom traditions that have demonstrated research support, and they listen deeply and compassionately as their clients’ express concerns. In this way, with the help of modeling, their clients come to adopt this way of listening deeply and compassionately as they, themselves, deal with their own concerns even when their counselor is not present.
Well, that’s my post for today. I hope you found some nourishing food for thought. Stay safe out there, and please join us again right here at From Insults to Respect.
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Some people will enjoy reading this blog by beginning with the first post and then moving forward to the next more recent one; then to the next one; and so on. This permits readers to catch up on some ideas that were presented earlier and to move through all of the ideas in a systematic fashion to develop their emotional and social intelligence. To begin at the very first post you can click HERE.
These days, many are performing their jobs from home and are missing the camaraderie of their workplace. Such drastic changes in their lives, and that of their families, give us reason to reflect on what work means to us.
Given the main focus of this blog, you might wonder what work has to do with respect. Well, many people achieve a great deal of respect from the work they do, while others are humbled by finding they have had little choice but to take a job far different from what they had aspired to in earlier days. Others, having lost their job and finding themselves falling deep into poverty, may be questioning their own self respect. So, without any further ado, here’s a little meditation on this topic insightfully aided by Bob Dylan’s “work” episode from his Theme Time Radio Hour series, which we can listen to 
Welcome back to Theme Time Radio Hour, and this week we’re talking about work. We’re talkin’ about golden parachutes, poison pills, golden handshakes. We’re talking about workin’ like a dog, work around the clock, workin’ 9 to 5; talking about all the workin’ stiffs who’re workin’ for a livin’, who live to work, labor intensive, doin’ odd jobs, married to their job, them employee of the month hard at work. So this week, no kidding around, no fooling, no goofing off, no hanging around the water cooler, because we’re going to get right down to it, putting in an honest day’s work, for an honest day’s pay, for our subject de jure is work and jobs. 
I hear America singing, the varied carols I hear,
The delicious singing of the mother, or of the young wife at work, or of the girl sewing or washing,
They call it stormy Monday, and, baby, Tuesday’s just as bad
I keep my nose on the grindstone, I work hard every day
Bob then tells us that if he had to have a boss, he would choose Bruce Springsteen.
You may be an ambassador to England or France
I got to get out and find a job
Just whistle while you work
You want to keep in mind that you are going on an interview, not a date. Don’t drown yourself with perfume or cologne. Speak up. Interviewers don’t want to drag words out of you. On the other hand, don’t talk too much, you don’t want to bore them. Stay focused, listen to what the question is and answer it; they don’t want to hear about what your dog did last week. Make eye contact, you don’t want to appear to be some kind of criminal. Poor language skills don’t help. Using “like” every third word or repeatedly saying “um” does not make you a likely candidate. Build trust. Don’t use a lot of little white lies, you’re going to get caught, and then how are they to believe anything you say. Wear a clean shirt, and present the best you possible. And once you get the job, you can do what everyone else does, figure out ways to get the day off. 
My last post, 
Wonderfully capturing this sentiment is a YouTube 
Off the field, Jeter founded the 
In interviews, even though he had plenty to brag about, and even when he had just won a big game with a clutch hit, Jeter remained humble while directing credit to his teammates.
One thing that I particularly admired about Jeter was that although he so passionately wanted to win, this desire was not expressed by hating his rivals. We saw this being expressed each time he would get a hit, for he had a delightful way of engaging in some friendly exchange with the player trying to hold him close to the base so he wouldn’t steal. Jeter’s ready smile during these interactions, even in the midst of a crucially important game, endeared him to players throughout the major leagues.
As an example of what many thought a serious mistake in judgment, when Jeter assumed leadership of the Miami Marlins baseball team, he naturally wanted to bring in his own assistants. This meant he had to fire those who had been in those positions before he arrived. Rather than personally calling all of these individuals to explain why he was letting them go, he had one of his underlings do most of the dirty work. The press picked up the story, and hopefully Jeter, and the rest of us as well, learn something from this.
As a Yankee for twenty years, Jeter had ample opportunities to welcome new players joining the team. Not being a Yankee player myself, I can’t speak to how he handled this. But one thing that I do know, how it is handled can go a long way toward earning a significant degree of respect from the new guy, as we will now see.
In recent years, the major leagues developed a policy seeking to end this practice of hazing.
Wee Willie Keeler was still a pretty decent ballplayer, even then…. Wonderful fellow. I was too shy to say anything to him, but he came over to me one day and said, “Jim, you’ve got a great career ahead of you. If I can help you in any way, you just say the word.” How about that? 
Baseball field managers are a special subgroup of these ballplayers. Typically, they played professionally for many years, demonstrating keen knowledge of the game, and upon reaching an age at which they are too old to continue playing at a professional level, they are singled out by club owners and their upper management team as having leadership abilities. Here, we will take a quick look at two of these guys, John McGraw and Connie Mack, not because they were perfect human beings that never made a mistake, but because a few of their attributes are particularly informative when we want to get insights about the nature of respect.
Take Mr. McGraw. What a great man he was! The finest and grandest man I ever met. He loved his players and his players loved him. Of course, he wouldn’t stand for any nonsense. You had to live up to the rules and regulations of the New York Giants, and when he laid down the law you’d better abide by it.
Another attribute that Snodgrass appreciated about McGraw was his willingness to let players make decisions on their own initiative.
Chief Myers was a catcher for the Giants. What did he appreciate about McGraw? Before playing for McGraw, he and the other players were always booked at the cheapest hotels.
In addition to McGraw, we find in Ritter’s book players repeatedly voicing high respect for Connie Mack.
In my opinion, Connie Mack did more for baseball than any other human being–by the example he set, his attitude, the way he handled himself and his players. You know, like you’re playing a great game and you’re heroes to the children of this country. Live up to it, conduct yourself accordingly. Over a period of years others followed, and baseball became respectable. He was a true gentleman, in every sense of the word. Not many men are.
The game of baseball offers us a unique look at the nature of respect for two reasons. First, the game provides several unusually objective statistics that give us a pretty good idea of the talent of a player. In many other fields, such as art or teaching, the criteria for talent is far less objective. Second, we find that despite this unusually objective talent criteria of baseball, when we take a look at two players that played the same position in the same era and have excellent statistics, sometimes we discover they have very different levels of respect given to them by the players’ peers and baseball fans. When we see such differences, by looking at the reasons players and fans give for this, we get particularly keen insights about the nature of respect, insights that can be applied not only to the green fields of baseball, but to other fields as well.
Students of the game of baseball know that outfielders Ty Cobb and Babe Ruth were among the all time most talented players and yet the respect afforded to each can not be more different. In Lawrence S. Ritter’s wonderful book, The Glory of Their Times: The Story of the Early Days of Baseball Told by the Men Who Played It, we get a sense of why this is. So, for instance, Davy Jones played on the same team as Cobb. Here’s what he had to say:
Cobb was a very complex person–never did have many friends. Trouble was he had such a rotten disposition that it was damn hard to be his friend. I was probably the best friend he had on the club. I used to stick up for him, sit and talk with him on long trips, try to understand the man. He antagonized so many people that hardly anyone would speak to him, even among his own teammates.
In many ways he was resented by a lot of players because he was so doggone good, and that plus being ignored because he had such a nasty disposition meant that the man was very lonely. Of course, he brought a lot of it on himself, no doubt about that. A lot of time it seemed as though he was just asking for trouble.
Cobb was a great ballplayer, no doubt about it. But he sure wasn’t easy to get along with. He wasn’t a friendly, good natured guy, like Wagner was, or Walter Johnson, or Babe Ruth…. He came up with an antagonistic attitude, which in his mind, turned any little razzing into a life-or-death struggle. 
The Babe was always friendly, a real nice guy who’d go out of his way any time to do you a favor. When Cobb was out there on that ball field, look out. He wasn’t anybody’s friend then. He was out to win, regardless….
Mike is from duh Bronx, so naturally he is a huge Yankees fan. When I asked him about this topic he wrote me an email that said in part:
Respect for the person, I think, is very difficult to assess since few fans know the player as a person. There are countless examples of superb players who are rotten human beings. Several are in the Hall of Fame, ex. Ty Cobb. There are also examples of superb players who were also superb human beings. Several are in the Hall of Fame, ex. Lou Gehrig. Most players of all levels of ability are unknowable as human beings to fans.
Respect for the game, I think, depends largely on one’s definition of “how the game should be played.” For some, that is linked to sportsmanship. For others, that is linked to the bottom line of winning (I’m talking about pros here.) The recent Houston Astros scandal [involving using electronic devices to steal a catcher’s signals to his pitcher and relaying it to the batter] for example, was not valuing sportsmanship, but was valuing winning. Respect for the game is about behavior and that’s what is so tricky. 
Throwing a spitter, stealing signs, pitching high and tight, scuffing a baseball, juicing a bat, showing up an opponent, taking out a middle infielder or catcher, running up the score, bunting when far ahead, sliding with spikes up, hustling, showboating: some are time-honored acts, others are against the rules (written and unwritten) of the game. Some were, to complicate things, within the rules at one time and are not within the rules now.
It has been said that hitting a round ball square with a rounded bat is the hardest thing to do in sports. It has also been said that pro baseball is a hard game played by hard men. Most fans idealize the game and its players and collectively have created a mythology about it. Most players are doing every thing they can to earn a living and have no illusions about being part of a mythology. That is a real disconnect, wouldn’t you say?
Interestingly, Mike once had one of his poems published in ELYSIAN FIELDS: THE BASEBALL REVIEW, 1994. It poetically asks how fans feel about the incredibly talented player, Pete Rose, after he was banned from baseball for betting on games and lying about it. Mike used E. E. Cummings’s “Buffalo Bill” poem as the template for his poem, with its unusual combining of words:
I’ve always respected Mariano Rivera. He was the best ever at a position but always seemed so humble and down to earth. And even though he made millions of dollars, he moved back to Panama to be a preacher after he retired. It’s not at all the life path I would have chosen, but as far as I can tell, he avoided all the pitfalls of fame and fortune, and I respect anybody who can handle that situation with class and not be pulled in by all the peer pressure and expectations attached to that. 
When I was growing up, the Phillies were arguably the worst team in the major leagues. After so many years rooting for a team that would lose so, so many games, suddenly Roberts appeared on the scene, along with the other young “Whiz Kids” and it was such a thrill to suddenly have a competitive team.
Dave is a friend of mine who grew up in Queens and naturally became a Mets fan. However, now that he has been living in Georgetown, he has been rooting for the Nationals.
Hall of Famer Roberto Clemente is Dave’s choice for all time most respected baseball player. Dave mentioned Roberto’s incredible athleticism and his devotion to helping people living in dire circumstances. For those not familiar with Roberto’s charitable efforts, here’s some of the story according to Wikipedia:
The airplane he chartered for a New Year’s Eve flight, a 
All who saw Roberto Clemente in action, whether on the diamond or on the front lines of charitable endeavor, are richer for the experience. He stands with the handful of men whose brilliance has transformed the game of baseball into a showcase of skill and spirit, giving universal delight and inspiration. More than that, his selfless dedication to helping those with two strikes against them in life has blessed thousands and set an example for millions. As long as athletes and humanitarians are honored, Roberto Clemente’s memory will live; as long as Citizens Medals are presented, each will mean a little more because the first one went to him.
“Take me out to the ball game,
Nelly Kelly was sure some fan,
Do you, baby, know what it’s all about,
Grand slam,
Baseball, to me, represents life. It’s about heroes and goats, it’s about success and failure. It’s about individual effort, it’s about team effort. Baseball is about the game within the game. It’s really the only game that is not governed by time. And the thing that makes me insane is the people who say baseball is boring. It’s just playing catch. They don’t understand the game within the game. They don’t understand that how much changes from pitch to pitch. It’s actually fractions of a second that a hitter has to make a decision that he is actually going to swing, and then put it either between guys or hit it over the fence.
From there, Bob plays us a little audio clip of an announcer calling the thrilling, yet poignant, moment when Ted Williams, at his last at bat of his career, hits a long home run. The reaction of the crowd is just heartwarming.
And Juan Marichal comes up,
Say hey, say who?
Jamie, you should do what I used to do. When I was supposed to be asleep, I would take my radio and slip it under my pillow. Then put your ear next to the pillow, which you’re supposed to do with pillows anyway. This way you can hear the second game of a double header without bothering anyone else in the house. Thanks for your email, your private pillow pal.
Listen, guys, this game is only half skill,
Perhaps I can find some sound advice by flipping through my copy of the Tao Te Ching.
To be in favor or disgrace
When a person becomes respected, some people compare themselves to the respected person. If, in this comparison, they come to believe they are not as respected, this may ignite feelings of envy. Some of these people may seek to act in ways that harm the respected person in an effort to bring her or him down to a lower, less threatening, level. I wonder if President John F. Kennedy might have been assassinated because of this type of motivation.
In contrast to my difficulty understanding why to be respected is to live in fear, I have no difficulty understanding why living in disgrace is to live in fear. Bernie Madoff, the former investment advisor who became disgraced for carrying out a massive Ponzi scheme, comes to mind. His disgrace led to him currently serving a lengthy federal prison sentence. People who act in a manner that leads to their disgrace certainly have good reason to fear some bad things will be the result.
That stanza reminds me of the first noble truth of Buddhism. Life is not ideal: it frequently fails to live up to our expectations. Human beings are subject to desires and cravings, but even when we are able to satisfy these desires, the satisfaction is only temporary. Birth brings about suffering, as does aging, illness, the approaching of death, union with what is displeasing, separation from what is pleasing, not to get what one wants, etc.
He who strides cannot maintain the pace.
When Douglas argued that by freeing the slaves, this would lead to what many in the audience viewed as the absolute horror of the mixing of blood by the white and black races, Lincoln responded by pointing to the last census at the time. It indicated there were 405,751 mulattoes (a term used to refer to offspring who had both black and white parents) in the United States in 1850. He then went on to say,
All I ask for the negro is that, if you do not like him, let him alone. If God gave him but little, that little let him enjoy. Certainly the negro is not our equal in color–perhaps not in many other respects; still, in the right to put into his mouth the bread that his own hands have earned, he is the equal of every man, white or black. In pointing out that more has been give to you, you cannot be justified in taking away the little which has been given him.
If they look back to trace their connection with those days of blood, they find they have none; they cannot carry themselves back to the glorious epoch and make themselves feel they are part of us; but when they look through that old Declaration of Independence, they find that those old men say that “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal,” and they feel that that moral sentiment taught in that day evidences their relationship to those men, that it is the father of all moral principle in them, and that they have a right to claim it as though they were blood of the blood, and flesh of the flesh, of the men who wrote that Declaration; and so they are.
I am thankful to God for this approval of the people. But while deeply grateful for this mark of their confidence in me, if I know my heart, my gratitude is free from any taint of personal triumph. I do not impugn the motives of any one opposed to me. It is no pleasure to me to triumph over any one; but I give thanks to the Almighty for this evidence of the people’s resolution to stand by free government and the rights of humanity.
Doris Kearns Goodwin’s insightful book 
A classic illustration comes from Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol where we find the unforgettable Ebenezer Scrooge transformed by ghostly experiences from a disrespected miser to a lovable, generous employer. As we delve into our topic, we will draw upon a couple of episodes of Bob Dylan’s 
As Bob introduces the first of his two episodes on money, he tells us, with reggae music in the background,
The first song Bob plays for us is the bluesy “That’s What They Want.” Performed by Jerry McCain and His Upstarts, it tells about a guy grieving about the women he knows who are just interested in finding men who have a lot of money, and a Cadillac too.
Blue money, according to the Urban Dictionary, refers to 100 dollar bills, which got its name from a blue line that goes up and down the bill. But in some circles, it means money from making porn movies. Thus, according to this interpretation, the song is about the singer’s girlfriend making porn movies, which involves engaging in sexual activities for money.
When I was an undergraduate at Brooklyn College, I drove a taxi in Manhattan to cover my expenses. From time to time, as I was driving past the Port Authority, where buses and trains would bring loads of out-of-towners to the city, a few women dressed in very scanty, sexy outfits would jump in my taxi and tell me to drive around the block. As they peeked out the window, I could tell they had spotted some police officers, and they had me keep circling the block until the men in blue were gone.
Later, while a graduate student at the University of Minnesota, I worked at a Juvenile Correctional Facility, where I honed my counseling skills. Several of the female teenagers were in the facility because they had been engaged in prostitution. Here, I got to know what led these young ladies into this path to earn money. All came from extremely stressful financial situations. All were first lured into becoming hooked on drugs, which initially relieved their financially strapped stress. The leaders of the industry provided, at first, the drugs for free, along with other enticing gifts. In time, desperate to feed their addictions, these teenagers found turning tricks were the only way they knew how to survive. Somehow, during the counseling sessions, their humanity came to light, and a more kind and understanding attitude was fostered.
As Bob’s show continues, Bob plays for us, Nic Jones’s “Farewell to the Gold.” It provides a touching story of a man who, with a friend, spends his life hoping to strike it rich by prospecting for gold. In the end, his dream never comes true, and a flood leads to his friend drowning. The story is a metaphor for the real possibility that seeking gold doesn’t always work out well, and it’s important to be aware of this if we are to wisely choose our life’s pursuits.
As this episode winds down, Bob plays us, “You Can’t Take It With You” by Jessie Price. If you like piano, clarinet, and trumpet solos, this number is sure to put a smile on your face. And then, Bob concludes with the following words:
Bob begins part 2 by welcoming us back to the show. And then he says:
After some background remarks about the Drifters, Bob plays their song, “Money, Honey.” With the smooth voice of Clyde McPhatter, and some fine sax solos, the lyrics go,
We spent so much time talking about money, I want to leave you with someone who had an opposing opinion. He’s a smart guy about relativity, and he’s smart about this. We’re talking about Einstein, and he said, “I’m absolutely convinced that no wealth in the world can keep humanity from moving forward. Even in the hands of the most devoted worker the examples of great pure individuals is the only thing that can move us to noble thoughts and deeds. Money only appeals to selfishness and irresistibly invites abuse. Can anyone imagine Moses, Jesus, or Gandhi armed with the bags of money of Carnegie.” We’ll see you next week with all new themes, dreams, and schemes. 
Welcome to From Insults To Respect. As several of my earlier blog posts have indicated, many professionals, mental health service users, involuntary patients, and the general public have little, to no respect, for the American Psychiatric Association’s most recent version of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).
I developed the CSM approach while working with the Task Force on Diagnostic Alternatives of the American Psychological Association’s Division 32 (Society of Humanistic Psychology). That group has not officially supported, as of yet, any single alternative. Instead, it has wisely decided that its next step is to send out a new open letter hoping to garner support for starting a process that will involve all of the mental health stakeholders including former and current mental health service users, individuals who experienced involuntary treatment, their family members, and mental health professionals.
Today we once again take up the controversial topic of the usefulness of the group of drugs referred to by psychiatrists and the pharmaceutical industry as “antipsychotics.” In most of the articles that I have read that have been written by psychiatrists, “antipsychotic” drugs are the first line of treatment for schizophrenia. And yet, a growing number of mental health advocates have been fiercely critical of this. As someone who has given considerable thought to helping people resolve challenging conflicts, I set myself on trying to find out what is going on here. 
After a review of the scientific research and participating in several debates, I then wrote three blog posts that reported to my readers what I have found.
Upon publishing the first two posts, several defenders of the use of these drugs claimed these drugs are worth using because they reduce the risk of early mortality. I, therefore, published a third 
The cost for the drug approach is not just confined to the cost of the “antipsychotic” drugs which has been estimated to be in the range of several billions of dollars. Doctors often prescribe a whole cocktail of drugs for these patients, dramatically adding to the cost of the drug approach, while evidence indicates the combination of “antipsychotics” with these other drugs often leads to additional adverse effects. The cost of the doctors’ time for prescribing and monitoring the treatment must be added, as well, as the cost of the revolving door of placement in a hospital, releasing from the hospital, and readmitting to the hospital, which has been the frequent pattern with this drugging approach. Finally, we must add the cost of treating patients for all of the adverse effects of these drugs.
There are several very promising alternatives, but in most regions they are not yet available. Articles like mine are designed to expand the general population’s knowledge of just how ineffective, harmful, and financially wasteful the drug treatments are, and that there are safer alternatives. This increased awareness campaign has been a major reason for the slow rising tide of advocates demanding that these more healthy alternatives become readily accessible in every community.
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The central features of this treatment for this group of patients involve normalization and evaluation of the appraisals that people make, helping them to test such appraisals with use of behavioral experiments, and helping them to identify and modify unhelpful cognitive and behavioral responses. Additionally, it aimed to provide warm, empathic, and non-judgmental face-to-face contact, supportive listening, signposting to appropriate local services for unmet needs, and crisis management when needed.
Relationships developed naturally, and we all got to know one another to various degrees, no different than how we develop friendships. This was not a therapist-patient relationship but rather a sort of social relationship. As a staff member I had some responsibilities—going to the market and preparing dinner. Everyone was on their own for breakfast and lunch and could help themselves to whatever they might like. Grocery shopping was often an outing to the market. Usually, one or two residents would accompany me to the store. When we returned, I would ask for help prepping the meal. It was quite informal. The house was often a bit of a mess, but then, we’d all get together and decide it was time for a quick house cleaning and again, whoever wanted to join would do so.”
Another approach well described in the JHP special issue is written by Charles Knapp. The Windhorse therapeutic perspective has a Tibetan Buddhist orientation that offers meditation, and spiritual teachings, along with a supportive, empathetic staff. Unlike the Soteria House approach, which aims to support people through a recovery process over a few months, the Windhorse approach recognizes that individual recovery periods are highly variable, and it is not uncommon for people to stay in their programs for eighteen months and even longer.
There are several other approaches described in the JHP special issue, all worth while to think about. All have had their share of success in helping to provide support for people experiencing extreme states.