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CRITICIZING YOURSELF MATURELY: A COMIC STRIP LOVER’S GUIDE

Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Recently I presented a post that aims to get you to think about immature and mature ways to provide negative criticism to yourself (see Criticizing Yourself: Five Levels of Maturity). In that post there is a fun practice section to help people to get familiar with the different levels. Becoming a master at utilizing the higher levels of maturity takes…

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RESPONDING TO CRITICISM: A LUANN COMIC STRIP LESSON

Over the past year, followers of this blog have been learning how to skillfully deal with criticism.  Some of the lessons focused on the four levels of maturity for responding to criticism (see HERE). Throughout these lessons we looked at the various reasons why some responses are viewed as more mature than others.  I also noted that because people often get defensive when criticized, it…

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DEALING WITH INSULTS: LESSONS FROM THE JACKIE ROBINSON STORY

Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Today, to get us to think more deeply about dealing with insults, let’s discuss for few minutes what Jackie Robinson went through when he became the first black major leaguer. Just before Mr. Robinson began to play in the majors for the Brooklyn Dodgers, the Dodgers’ general manager, Branch Rickey, made it clear to him that he would face criticism…

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THE ABCs OF POWER AND THE GUILT CONDITION

For the past few weeks I have been discussing personal power.  Power is the skill to achieve your desires.  To help people to come up with plans to achieve their desires, we have been constructing a list, in alphabetical order, of sources of power.  We are calling this list the ABCs of Power.  So far, the list looks like this: THE ABCs OF POWER A=Advancing…

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THE ABCs OF POWER: THE LETTER “C”

On this blog I often discuss mature ways to handle situations in which we feel that we are being insulted (see for example, RESPONDING TO CRITICISM: FOUR LEVELS OF MATURITY). Many people after reading several of these posts find that situations that previously gave them difficulty can now be handled with great confidence.  As a result, they find that people have begun to treat them…

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IMPLIED CRITICISM: ADVANCED LESSON

In last week’s post I began to discuss some forms of implied criticism. In this Dilbert comic that we first looked at in last week’s post, we see that complimenting someone in front of another person can lead to an experience that feels like a subtle form of negative criticism.  Learning to recognize not only the most obvious types of negative criticism, but the more…

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UNSOLICITED CRITICISM: GOOD OR BAD?

“Judy, it’s so nice to see you,” I say as she comes into my office and sits down on my couch. “I’ve been reading your blog again, Dr Rubin.  It’s filled with a bunch of hogwash.” “Hmmm, it sounds like there are some ideas in it that you don’t care for.” “I read last night two of your blog posts–Is Criticism Bad and Criticism and Wisdom. …

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INSULTS, LIKING AND FREEDOM

Back in April of last year, in a post titled, WHY IS CRITICISM SO HARD TO BEAR?, we began to discuss the fact that when we provide negative criticism to others, they may feel insulted, they may feel that you feel they are not worthy of being liked, and they may feel that you are trying to push them to make some change that should…

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DEALING WITH CRITICISM: LESSONS FROM DENNIS THE MENACE

In a recent post (Dealing with Criticism by Digging Deeper) I discussed some difficult situations that may occur when we deal with criticism.  There, I mentioned that in these types of situations, it can be helpful to do our best to describe what the criticizer’s most obvious desire is for providing the criticism and then to look to see if there are any other desires…

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DEALING WITH CRITICISM BY DIGGING DEEPER

“I’ve been reading your blog posts, Dr. Rubin,” Judy says sounding annoyed. “You are making everything sound way too complicated.” “I’m pleased that you’ve been checking it out,” I reply.  “I’d love to hear more about your reactions.” “Well, yesterday I went over to pick up my friend, Sue, to go to a party.  She was wearing an outfit that was almost identical to mine. So I…

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