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RESPONDING TO INSULTS WITH QUIET SADNESS

A couple of weeks ago, I provided readers of this blog a post titled, “How I Met Cool Steve.”  There, I told a story from one of my novels about a teenager, Jeff Star.  At one point, Jeff is in an angry mood because his teacher gave him so much homework, and perhaps he is also having some jealous feelings about how much respect the…

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PROVIDING NEGATIVE CRITICISM: A LUANN COMIC STRIP LESSON

by Jeffrey Rubin, PhD

In last week’s post, I presented a lesson on responding to negative criticism that utilized a Luann comic strip.  It was so popular that I decided to once again have Luann help us out; but this time, rather than focusing on the most mature ways to respond to negative criticism, let’s focus on the most mature ways to provide negative criticism.  For those of you…

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PROVIDING NEGATIVE CRITICISM: FIVE LEVELS OF MATURITY

Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Recently I have been discussing a model that describes five levels of maturity when responding to criticism. Today, we switch gears, and take a look at a model that describes five levels of maturity when providing criticism. The Five Levels Below you will find preliminary descriptions of how people at five developmental levels of maturity provide criticism, that is,…

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CRITICISM PROVIDED BECAUSE OF JEALOUSY: A PARABLE WITH RESPECT TO THE TAO TE CHING

Last week I began a discussion about how to handle it if you suspect somebody is criticizing you because of jealousy.  Today we will begin a discussion about what you might wish to do if you find that you are insulting individuals with whom you are experiencing feelings of jealousy.  To that end, please consider the following parable from my novel, Love, Sex, And Respect….

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BEING CRITICIZED BECAUSE OF JEALOUSY

Over the past few weeks, I have been discussing responding to criticism.  To become a master at responding to criticism you have to learn to figure out the reason why someone is criticizing you because different reasons require a different type of response. So far, we discussed three different reasons: Criticism designed to encourage you to improve Playful teasing, The desire to form a bond…

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