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CONFLICTS AND GUILT

A conflict exists whenever the following three conditions exist: Party A desires an act will occur. Party A perceives that another party is likely to act in a manner that interferes with the desire. Party A perceives that the other party would be guilty of doing something wrong if he or she carries out the interfering act. On this blog, when we think about describing…

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THE ABCs OF POWER: THE LETTER E

On this blog we have been discussing personal power.  We have noted that the reason why people use insults is to try to achieve their desires.  This strategy often backfires.  Therefore, we have been learning plans to increase our skill to achieve our desires without launching insults at others. Learning the sources of power greatly enhances our skills to achieve our desires.  And once we…

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INTRAPERSONAL CONFLICTS AND CHARLIE BROWN: ADVANCE LESSON

A few weeks ago I published a post titled CONFLICTS WITH OURSELVES: LESSONS FROM CHARLIE BROWN.  Today, let’s quickly review the ideas presented there, and then move on to discuss a few more. Review When one person has a conflict with another person, we call this an interpersonal conflict.  An intrapersonal conflict occurs when a person has a conflict with himself or herself. When we…

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GUILTING VERSUS ENCOURAGING CARING: AN ADVANCE LESSON

Last week’s post is titled, AN INTRODUCTION TO “GUILTING.”  There we compared “GUILTING” to “ENCOURAGING CARING.”  Both are different styles of making a request and reacting if someone refuses to help. GUILTING  People using guilting express sadness at the current state of affairs and then ask for assistance.  Upon having a request turned down, the person who employs guilting responds in anger while seeking to…

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AN INTRODUCTION TO “GUILTING”

To become a master at responding to criticism, we have to first learn to recognize the reason for the criticism. So far we have discussed five of them: Criticism designed to encourage you to improve (see HERE and HERE) Playful teasing (see HERE) The desire to form a bond with a group by putting down non-group members (see HERE) Jealousy (see HERE) The criticizer is…

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