A Guide To Anger And Conflict Resolution
“Are you going to vote for the new school facility plan, Marc?” “No, Phil. It calls for combining the two high schools in our town so that there will be nearly 2,000 students in the combined school. I prefer small schools. I say, keep them small, keep them personal.” Turning red and glaring into Marc’s eyes, Phil begins to holler, “What are you, stupid? We…
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On this blog, from time to time I provide some commentary on news stories involving bullying. There was the case of students tormenting a 68-year-old bus monitor: And another one in which a 12-year-old girl leaped to her death after more than a year of being cyberbullied: And several others as well. Another Example This week I want to discuss a story about some parents who…
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“Left turn!” hollers the drill sergeant to his new recruits. Private Smith begins to turn right, but catches his mistake as he notices the other recruits turning in the correct manner. He manages, although a bit clumsily, to end up turning left. “Boy, don’t you know your left from your right?” the drill sergeant shouts in Private Smith’s face. “Yes, Drill Sergeant.” “I’m so glad…
Read MoreRecently I wrote a post titled “Free of Fear,” employing the name of the musical group my two sons, Jack and Lennon, happen to be in. They had just released a new album, See You on the Other Side, and when I went to the album release party it got me to thinking about the subject. When we become free of fear, it seems to…
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If you have been following this blog, you know that from time to time I have been discussing insults and criticism. In earlier posts, we looked at situations in which people end up feeling insulted because someone provided negative criticism. I have argued that rather than to feel insulted, it is possible to learn to welcome criticism, as well as words that might come off…
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Teasing is a game sometimes known as bantering, joshing, crackin’, rankin’, playing the dozens, and trash talk. You are judged in part on the quality of your insults and also how well you keep your cool on being insulted. Even the most mature people may like to play the teasing game, for they enjoy the duel of wits and the occasional humorous comeback. MATURE VERSUS…
Read MoreThis is my third “NFL Bullying” post since the topic splashed all over the national media this past Monday. The first (“The N.F.L. Culture and Bullying“) presents the theory that one reason why bullying is sometimes viewed as acceptable is the belief that it can increase motivation to reach a level of excellence not achievable without bullying. Whereas there may indeed be legitimate examples of some…
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Last week I began to answer the following question from one of my students: “I have been finding many of my new conflict resolution skills very helpful. However, to my dismay, sometimes I’m feeling stressed out and then if I become angry I find my skills fly right out the window. Why do you think that this occurs, and is there anything I can do…
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Earlier, I wrote a post titled “Providing Negative Criticism: Five Levels of Maturity.” When I gave examples of people using the five levels, they typically involved someone providing criticism to someone else. And yet, if you think about it, you probably criticize yourself at least as much as you criticize others. So, it is time that we begin to take a good hard look to…
Read MoreIt was way back in 1972 on a pleasant autumn day. As I stepped out of the sparkling sunshine into the shadowy confines of the Coney Island Child Psychiatric Clinic, I was greeted by three people who could have been movie actors. One was a beautiful social worker in her late twenties, with flowing brunette hair; another, a tall, handsome psychologist in his early thirties;…
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