A Guide To Anger And Conflict Resolution
Earlier on this blog, I provided a post that describes what I view as the five levels of maturity for providing negative criticism. Now let’s turn our attention toward providing positive criticism. With positive criticism—that is, criticism that points out what we like about someone’s actions, possessions, or appearance—our task of distinguishing mature responses from immature ones is considerably easier than when it comes to…
Read More
We find a charming illustration of Dagwood utilizing a simple source of personal power below: These three frames are just the beginning of a very early Blondie comic from 1932 that I found in The Smithsonian Collection of Newspaper Comics. At that time Blondie was depicted as coming from the lower classes who had recently married the wealthy Dagwood Bumstead. Many from his social circle…
Read More“Great anger and violence can never build a nation. We are striving to proceed in a manner and towards a result, which will ensure that all our people, both black and white, emerge as victors.” (From Nelson Mandela’s speech to European Parliament, 1990.) As I write this post, we are in the middle of South Africa’s 10-day mourning period for Nelson Mandela. Although I myself have…
Read More
Welcome to From Insults to Respect. Today we begin with a Blondie comic: In the above scenario, as Dagwood gets into bed, rather than greet him with warm, open arms, Blondie has turned her back to him. Because she has become angry with him, all that Dagwood is going to get from Blondie on this night is Blondie’s cold shoulder. What Does it Mean to Give…
Read More
If you have been following this blog, you know that I have often discussed different ways to respond to insults. For example, some people respond to negative criticism that is designed to be constructive as if it was an insult. They then become angry, defensive and end up storming away. In a post titled CRITICISM AND WISDOM, I encouraged people who respond in this way…
Read More
Regular readers of this blog know that to illustrate an idea, I usually utilize a comic strip or a brief parable. To fully integrate all of the ideas that appear in the blog, I’ve created a coming of age trilogy of novels that is set in Brooklyn that my students over the years have coined The Cool Steve Stories, because one of the main characters…
Read More
The chief executive officer (CEO) in the Dilbert comic strip is the bald-headed guy. He has been having quite a few conflicts with his workers. After trying some new approaches to resolve these conflicts, he decides to see if touching might help: Apparently, one of the CEO’s workers likes the way it feels when he is patted on his head. I don’t think I would…
Read MoreAudrey is at a fine restaurant with her parents celebrating her law school graduation. “Well, your mother and I are so proud of you, Audrey,” says her father. “Thanks, Dad!” “Now you know, Audrey, I think it best that you begin your career in my Wall Street firm,” says her father. “Dad, we discussed this already. I’m going to get a job in the Department…
Read MoreOn this blog, we have been discussing how we can move from anger to challenge. In one post, to help to move in the direction of challenge, I asked you to think of conflict as a great sea. I explained that there is a region of the Sea of Conflict that is known as Anger. There, storms are particularly likely to churn up, and some…
Read MoreDespite the ample evidence that anger is fraught with danger, human debasement, and ineffective functioning, many people seem reluctant to put their heart and soul into learning more effective alternatives. Why is this? One of the biggest reasons is that our culture presents in both direct and subtle ways the theory that suppressing anger can be harmful. Here we will explore this theory. As we…
Read More